

















^ • 


r 


■;• .V ,^^i\'l',®/v,*- -e- ^ 

- <Si@> - 

^ ' ^ KSN.^ - ^ >? ^^ 

o tf//\\v . ^ ^^r^nlii'TilF—i ' .\^■ " '^''' \M' -^t- 

s ■'.'#% ^ .({.'f' 

■" '^' '■■'' • '' . I» '^'‘-'" •' ‘ -''^ 

^ t. ' ‘ ® « 


.11, 


. V </> ^ YZ/y^T'vW 

,/>, o wMw 

, 1 ft ^ „ N ^ ^ ^ s 

v’ rC*' ^ ^ 



^ o. 

7 - 

^ ''‘° o'* 

B .B -*,*'* . ’ (,>*’ '^'>^-■>1 

r B- ' ' ' .ri'^ s'*' '“c- ' \> »■<■■», '^- 




5 N 0 ■ \ 

\ » 





>-■ T '’ 

'Y 

" <'\ ^ 0 » w ^ ^0 ^ 

. 'A o A '/./. ^ X- ■ 




✓ 

y* 

<T ■'' ■-" i . ^ ' 

= sH 

> \V ^ '-zy' 

^ 'i'r i- cO O. ^ 

"^ '>. M 0 ^ ^■^ .- 0 /-> of ' 

iP ^<^ « ./, /; 


o 

,y o 

fy it 

' ' ® -V ^O-. ^^f- 





Z 




. , ■•>'V;;;;^.>;''‘'o<>’V 



,v — 

. %. V* 

^ .0 o 

N A- yv * 

rj^ h- -'^ ^ \'^ '■) C' . ■/ , 

aO '^4 ^'ImO 

-r. Y . ' ' 

1 bC,-> ^ 


o 

<I 

-r 


fi 


s’' A 'O, ^ 



'y V 
, ^ 0^ 

^ O A ^ 

V- ^ ^ / 


< 


's> aN' 



^ ‘X 


t\ y<' 

0,'^ ' 

5 N 0 - 

v-r .'' '/ C‘ 

A <4- .^PsW^ ^ 

o 


o 'J ^ vLv- - ^ V 

Y. ^ , c s (\ 

,0^ c»~* ■'^eo ^ 


, -< -o 0^ 



\' 



** ^ 

* ■<?* 

^ <-p 

V. ® . 4// Vf^ ^ 

'V V V‘ ^ 

*-/ °o 





% 


* n 

p 4 

?• f? 

. %. 




'. -oV 

•\ O -1 V a\' 

Ab. . 





bo^ 































. s'' <3 

^ a \ ^ V f A' 

r ,v , 

xf> ,C V 


://yo 




& » ■ - 

''7 * *% rv M r ^ (» 6 ^ . \ . I R • '^/'^ u a X 1 

O. ,0" X ° ^ -f '■'^ A' .0 

0 *'■ c-SSXx 'P O 0 

•?» , ■ ^ ^ ^iif/Z^ '? V 

A ■ /^ N 


c> ^ * O.^ 

^y ^ 0 N 0 ^ \*^'^ 

a. -I' \ \ ^ 0 ^ 

^ ^ C‘ V S' ^ ^ 

® •- vv^' * V\1 

il- 





V ^••- '>’,. • •, ;\: ■ • - ■'v'*'.. •., 





/■ 


\ v' 



0 a X X 

f, ■> ,-r^ ^ 

■ ', X 



: xo °-<. 


' X‘'X7i»'X 

t> O^ ^ ^ . 

V V,. 


-ST- , 

<o,% *”''”'X "”' V>'^\-' "'/■ ''"> V 

" * ‘ a"** ' '^r? ,v, »" a'%#/1,‘‘'’ ' X “ 

x '1 '^1®’" X X. °o 



: XX 1 %W/ V 

rp ^ <ii -i «V 

A j 'X ' 


^-1 aVJ X 

^ 0 - ■» 






'X 

15 - - - 

, . X • O X , X 

^ V -< ■'Ip 0^ 


-nx,. ,, . 

''A X ^'\"; "■:'. " - X X ■ . ^ -’: 

<p V V 

'■ ^ V? 

o 


'X 


<p « 

•'■ *S ,, N (■• ' » <t X . \ 

c-®’ 'X^v> X X .A” 

•S cS5\ A'Ti'-S^ A' ^ 

a 


.. 0 



0 


5" = - •% ' 'X 

> jX ■*^- ci- ^ 

' * aA’ ^ 


'=^ aA ^ 



rx 'y " * 0-’ Xr ^ ^ 0 

'“/o' 

xA .\V « z ^ -y 

A'b ^ c .A^ ^.n o 


* ,S ^ 

* 0 


xjj^y -t, '\ y 

'''^ V C^' * 

0 X'' \ A O ■/ 0 , X 

v'* ^ aO^ X " " ^ 

X- v^' 

_ i .-j» '^'ivcxx ■x d- 


A' 



<>A - 

C^ tv 

r\ ^O 

a ' ' « -? ^ 

■A X 




* \0 °A. 


A 


















































J 


V 













Mrs. Mary J. Holmes’ Novels 

Over a MILLIO N Sold. 

'£HE NEW BOOK 

Dr. Hathern’s Daughters 

jusx ounc. 


As a writer of domestic stories which are extremely interesting 
without being extravagant, Mrs. Mary J. Holmes is unrivalled. 
Her characters are true to life, many of them are quaint, 
and all are so admirably delineated that their conduct 
and peculiarities make an enduring impression?/'y 
upon the reader’s memory.” 


The following is a list of Mary J. Holmes’ Novels : 


TEMPEST AND SUN¬ 
SHINE. 

ENGLISH ORPHANS. 
HOriESTEAD ON THE 
HILLSIDE. 

’LENA RIVERS. 
MEADOW BROOK. 
DORA DEANE. 

COUSIN MAUDE. 
HARIAN GREY. 

EDITH LYLE. 


DAISY THORNTON. 
CHATEAU D’OR. 
QUEENIE HETHER 
TON. 

DARKNESS AND 
DAYLIGHT. 

HUGH WORTHING¬ 
TON. 

CAMERON PRIDE. 
ROSE MATHER. 
GRETCHEN. 


ETHELYN’S MIS- 
TAKE. 
niLLBANK. 

EDNA BROWNING. 
WEST LAWN. 
niLDRED. 

FORREST HOUSE. 
HADELINE. 
CHRISTMAS STORIES. 
BESSIE’S FORTUNE. 
MARGUERITE. 


Dr. HATHERN’S DAUGHTERS. (New.) 


All handsomely printed and bound in cloth, sold everywhere, 
and sent by mail, postage free, on receipt of price ($ 1 . 50 ), by 


G. W. DILLINGHAM, Publisher, 

33 WEST 23rd STREET, NEW YORKe 







3 


■ ^ 

y\G. i\^\-vVuvvN,*, P\^ 


DILLINGHAM’S METROPOLITAN LIBRARY, No. 16, 

JULY, 1896. ISSUED MONTHLY. $8,00 PER YEAR. 

ENTERED AT THE NEW YORK POST OFFICE AS SECOND-CLASS MATTER. 


WHEELS. 


A BICYCLE ROMANCE. 



A. WHEELER. 


' * -'.j. ' 

♦tK jyw iJO IMS 

NEW YORK. 

Copyright, 1896, by 

G. W. Dillingham Co,, Publishers, 

MDCCCXCVI. 

\All Rights reservedi\ 



















/ 



i 


'.-f 



CONTENTS 


Chapter 

Page 

I. The Hatching of a Project 

. 7 

II. A Compact With Blanche 

• 34 

III. Across the Atlantic 

. 56 

IV. Bois De Boulogne . . 

. 83 

V. The Riviera .... 

. 104 

VI. Pompeii ..... 

. 119 

VII. Hotel Vittoria 

. 140 

VIII. La Belle Paris . . . 

. 165 


[ 5 ] 









I 







* ► 1 




t 

4 


\ 


■ A 

ff • > ,/ i ^ - ^ 



t 



WHEELS. 


CHAPTER I. 

THE HATCHING OF A PROJECT. 

“ Dear, oh, dear ! I’m just weary of myself 
and every one else! No matter how lovely a 
thing is, it’s passe in no time ! Who cares for 
ice cream soda, pineapple punch, angel’s food, 
or sunshine cake ? We’re satiated with them. 
And so with everything from a pink shirt waist 
to a blue dimity. As for reading, everything 
is decidedly flat and insipid, since poor “ Tril¬ 
by ” and the “Heavenly Twins” have gone 

sailing in the “ House Boat on the Styx.” 

[71 



8 


Wheels. 


“ Why do you speak in this way, Helena ? 
Have you not everything that heart can wish 
for—pretty hats and gowns, jewels, a horse 
and cart, and the finest wheel in Kansas City ? 
What more could a young girl reasonably de¬ 
sire?” 

That’s the trouble with me, Georgiana. 
I’m fairly surfeited with store-goods, and plea¬ 
sures that money can buy ; I want something 
new, and romantic, like being hypnotized by 
some fair Adonis. Now if Svengali had only 
been a handsome, likely chap, instead of such a 
perfectly horrid wretch, everything might have 
turned out lovely. Oh, say, Georgiana, I believe 
I’ll fall in love with Paderewski, and ask him to 
marry me ; its leap year, you know, and he’s a 
widower. I’d rather have Salvini, Jr., or Pad- 



The Hatching of a Troject, 


9 


erewski, than a live duke, any day, they 
wouldn’t be so awfully monotonous, and 
pokey.” 

“ Helena Morgan, I beg of you, do not say 
such wildly preposterous things !” 

“What, as being hypnotized, or falling in 
love with that adorable Salvini, Jr., or marrying 
dear, divine Paderewski ? Why, half the 
women in the land are worshiping these little 
gods, why not I ? You’d like the divertise- 
ment yourself, or I’m mistaken.” 

“ There’s a difference between twenty-five and 
nineteen, Helena.” 

“ Dif ! Well I should say there was. You’re 
actually getting rusty ; way along in the ‘ sere 
and yellow leaf,’ as it were. If you don t get 
a matrimonial hustle on you, Georgiana, I’ll have 




lO 


Wheels, 


a valuable antique on my hands, and you know 
how I abominate old maids and cats.” 

“You needn’t worry about my Angoras, 
Helena. You’ll have plenty to keep you busy 
if you look after your own ducklings.” 

“ And keep them out of my wild oat-field, 
eh ? Well, that’s clever, I’m sure. What do 
I care if I do appear uncommon and act on my 
advanced ideas ? It’s fun. I’m after, and I’m 
bound to have it. I actually feel exuberant 
now, and I can’t tell for my life what it’s 
about.” 

“I thought you were in despair a moment 
ago.” 

“ That’s a fact, Georgiana. What was I 
talking about ? Oh, yes, ice cream soda, fall¬ 
ing in love, getting married and a lot of other 



The Hatching of a Project. 1 1 

idiotic things. Don’t go ; please don't, Georgi- 
ana. Tm frightfully blue and nervous this 
morning. Do you think anything is going to 
happen ?” 

“ Probably will, in the natural course of 
events.” 

“ But seriously, Georgiana, I’m greatly trou¬ 
bled. I had such a curious dream last night. 
I thought I was a fellow and that I was married 
to a woman. Now if that isn’t a sign of death 
and reincarnation, I’d like to know what it does 
mean P 

‘‘ Oh, you were simply exhausted from dan¬ 
cing, and then your late supper-” 

‘‘ As though that were an unusual circum¬ 
stance. Not a bit of it, sister. Oh, dear ! I 
wish I knew to a day just how long I were 





12 


Wheels, 


going to live. I don’t want to play blind man’s 
buff wdth life, and then be caught when I least 
expect it.” 

“ Probably you’re prepared to die any min¬ 
ute ; your age would warrant it, you know, but 
I want to have fun up to within three days, 
that would give me plenty of time to get my 
celestial trunk packed. What’s the matter 
with my getting my horoscope read by Pro¬ 
fessor -” 

“ Helena, do be sensible, and try to quiet 
down. You’re not happy for one minute, un¬ 
less under some kind of excitement. You wish 
for this, and you wish for that; scarcely are 
your desires obtained, before your brain is 
hatching some new project. You can be so 
nice and agreeable at times, but when you get 





The Halchhig of a P^'oject. 13 

into these restless moods, you just drive me out 
of my senses.’* 

“ I know I’m a regular freak, sister, but 
please do be patient. I verily believe there’s 
something inside of me, like the Mephistopheles 
in Faust, just putting me up to all sorts of dev¬ 
iltry. Sometimes I feel like turning cow-boy, 
and riding a fiery mustang; again. I’m per¬ 
fectly possessed to go up in a balloon, or elope 
with some languid-eyed Neapolitan minstrel ; 
and now, I guess, I won’t give away my latest 
aspiration. Oh, Georgiana, for the love of 
mercy, do give me a sleeping potion, or I shall 
be doing something to shock you frightfully.” 

“ Helena Morgan^ stop right where you are, 
and think where these idle fancies are leading 
you? Up to this time you have managed to 



14 


Wheels. 


control this exuberance of spirit, but now I fear 
you are on the dizzy brink-" 

“ That’s it Georgiana, hovering on the brink 
of something, heaven only knows what. 
There’s one thing glaringly apparent, I must 
have a decided change, or I shall be a total 
wreck.” 

“ Can’t you be happy in anticipation of our 
summer in the mountains ?” 

“ Some of these spring days I feel as if I 
could, and then again, when I think of how we 
used to wheel down Ocean Avenue when we 
were at Newport last year—fairly fly through 
the air on wings, as it were—it seems as though 
we must manage to go where we can take our 
bicycles. Cycling would be just immense, if it 
wasn’t for the abominable petticoats, and I 




The Hatching of a Project. 15 


perfectly abhor bloomers. Say, Georgiana, 
but the boys must be in Paradise, sailing along 
in their knickerbockers and short jackets. If I 
were only a man ! Well, there’s no use talking, 
I suppose, but that’s my latest aspiration just 
the same.” 

“ Now I want to understand you, Helena. 
Have you really decided that you do not want 
to go to the Catskills, as we have planned ?” 

“ I’m free to own, it doesn’t strike me with 
any degree of enthusiasm. The fact is, I’m 
just dying for an out and out change. We’ve 
summered in the Adirondacks, hibernated in St. 
Augustine, been Newported, Saratogaed, and 
Long Branched ; Coronodo Beeched, and Yel¬ 
low Stone Parked, until I’m actually cloyed of 
American resorts. As to expense, it’s the 




i6 


Wheeis. 


same thing wherever we go—five to ten dollars 
a day according to location. Our six thou¬ 
sand a year isn’t any great layout, of course : 
but it was awfully sweet of dear papa to deal 
in that horrid pork, and then leave all his 
money for us to be happy on. That’s what I 
call unselfish to the last degree ! Now in 
justice to him, if nothing else, we ought to plan 
to get the largest possible amount of pleasure 
out of every dollar we spend.” 

“ Quite philosophical and exactly true, 
Helena. What proposition have you to make 

“That’s what bothers me. I haven’t the 
ghost of an idea where I want to go, or what I 
want to do.” 

“ What would you say to a trip on the Con¬ 
tinent ?” 



The Hatching of a Project. i 7 

“ Across the ocean ? Horrors ! I should 
die of sea-sickness, or be drowned. It just 
frightens me to death to think of it! And yet 
—what a strange move for us to make, though, 
after we have had it published that we are 
going to the mountains. How would Brother 
Charles like the idea, I wonder ? He’s about 
the only one we’re accountable to, now that 
dear papa and mamma are both gone.” 

That reminds me, I have a letter from 
brother relating to this very subject. Let me 
see, where in the world did I lay his letter ? 
Oh, here it is, in the folds of my bodice. Read 
what he says, Helena.” 

“ Would not advise your going to the moun¬ 
tains ; a season at the Kaaterskill hotel would 
cost half as much as to go abroad, with fifty per 



i8 




cent, less profit.” (“ Sounds just like a man, don't 
it ?” observed Helena.) “ Think it would be 
pleasanter for you to travel alone—parties 
at the outset are a darned nuisance.” (“ Naughty 
boy to swear.”) “ You will always find plenty 
of pleasant people going your way. Georgi- 
ana’s travels in Europe will be an advan¬ 
tage, and as you both speak French and 
German, there is nothing in the world to 
prevent your having a fine time.” 

^ Well, that’s clever, to be sure. I wonder 
if he thinks that because he and his chum went 
half around the world on a wheel, that we can 
go and do likewise ? I wish to goodness we 
could,” said Georgiana, thoughtfully. 

Do Europe on awheel! That's about what 
I call perfection in the way of novelty. But 



The Hatching of a Project, 19 


there’s no use talking, I suppose, our femininity, 
that is, our petticoats, present an insurmount¬ 
able barrier. Oh, how I wish I were a man !” 

“ I quite agree with you, Helena, that cycling 
through Europe would be an excursion to en¬ 
thuse the most stoical; but it’s impracticable, 
therefore, impossible.” 

“ Don’t clip my wings too suddenly, sister. 
Let me soar in the clear ether of my imagina¬ 
tion a few seconds. The new-born idea is so 
delightfully fresh and jolly. Now, if we could 
only turn boys, what fun we might have ! You 
would probably prefer the young man sobriquet, 
but I should glory in being just an unaccounL 
able, rollicking, happy-go-lucky boy, of my own 
irresponsible age.” 

As I said before, I appreciate the spirit of 



20 


Wheels. 


the enterprise heartily ; but what is there to be 
done about it ? We must submit to our fate 
and go as we are, or go not at all, Helena.” 

“ That word ‘ submit ’ just kills me. ‘ Where 
there’s a will there’s a way,’ it is said. Listen 
to me, Georgiana, I’ve got a scheme. Say we 
put on knickerbockers, take our wheels and go 
flying over the Continent as two fellows; you 
the young man, and I the kid, of course. We 
can stop in Chicago, and I bet anything that 
Blanche-” 

“ That is quite far enough, Helena. Your 
Mephistophelian imagination must come down 
to solid earth. If you were in downright earn¬ 
est, I should declare you were demented, to 
think of such a preposterous thing as donning 
male attire; but, of course, you’re joking.” 




The Hatching of a Project. 2 t 

“ Never was more serious in my life. We’ll 
go as brothers, you can cut down your name to 
George, and I—let me see—what can I make 
of Helena ? Some of those old Greek names, 
like Helios, or Helenus, Heliodorus or Helliani- 
cus. If it was Helen-is-a-cuss, that might suit 
me.” 

“ How perfectly dreadful you are, to think of 
such abominable things.” 

“ Now what’s the dif, whether one says Hel- 
lianicus, or Helenisacuss ? A syllable more or 
less is never going to put one in sheol, I say ! 
Now Greek names don’t suit my style of stub 
nose. That’s evident. Let me see, my middle 
name is Caroline, what can you make out of 
that, sister ?” 

“ Why, Carl, of course, that is, if you were 



Wheels. 


2 2 

going to adopt any masculine title ; but it’s 

absolutely out of-” 

Come off, George, don’t be -saying things 
you’ll have to take back. This is the way our 
names will look written, see ! ‘ George Mor~ 

gan, Carl Morgan.’ Where shall we hail from ? 
We’ll put it Kansas, that’s half the truth, 
any way. I’ll write them again exactly as they’ll 
look on the hotel register. Let’s add an s 
to our last name, and call it Morgans. 

“ ‘ George Morgans, Kansas, U. S. A.’ 

“ ‘ Carl Morgans, “ “ “ ’ 

“ What do you want better than that for a 
complete blind ?” 

“ It’s the most dreadful thing I ever heard of 
in my life, Helena, but-” 





The Hatching of a Project, 23 


“ Perfectly diabolical, I admit, but think of 
the dead loads of fun, Georgiana.” 

The temptation is quite overpowering. 
The idea fascinates me beyond anything I have 
ever thought of before. There wouldn’t be 
any special harm in it either, if we were very 
discreet.” 

“ Case of have to, I guess, Georgiana. I 
wouldn’t be found out for anything in this wide 
world.” 

“ Nor I, Helena. Just think of the scorn 
and censure that would rain down on our poor 
innocent heads.” 

Bother the scorn and censure ! So long as 
we’re not doing anything positively wrong, 
what’s the odds, George ? Come on, I say, let’s 
do it.” 



24 


Wheels, 


You must not expect my consent until I 
have considered the project well. Being older 
than you, everything will be laid on my shoul¬ 
ders. But that does not prevent our making 
plans, or rather looking over the details before 
embarking in the escapade. In the first place, 
we would have to cut off our hair.” 

Oh, that would be a shame, wouldn’t it T* 
said Helena, taking the shell pins from her 
wealth of golden hair, and letting it fall a sunny 
mass over her shoulders. 

'‘Yours is so lovely, it would be ten thou¬ 
sand pities to sacrifice it ; but I shouldn’t mourn 
very much over mine. It’s been crimped until 
it is all broken and uneven, any way. It would 
probably be a benefit to shear it off. But how 
would I look?” said Georgiana, holding the 



The Hatchmg of a Project. 


25 


curly, jet black locks close to her head, and 
brushing back the frizzes from her high, arched 
forehead. 

First-class, George ; and as to the whiskeis, 
it isn’t the fashion to wear even a mustache, 
you know. You could rub on a little black po¬ 
made the middle and last of the week, or you 
might shave every day, that’s the latest !” 

Shave, horrors ! I wouldn’t have to shave! 
What are you talking about, Helena ?” 

“ Theoretically, not absolutely, of course. 
You mustn’t get shocked at anything now, sis¬ 
ter—brother, rather. We must begin to prac¬ 
tice our roles. Call me Carl, please.” 

“ And those high, starched collars, and man¬ 
nish linen we shall have to adopt for table 
d’hote, and dress occasions ; and then to think 



26 


Wheels. 


of wearing- Oh, no, that is absolutely out 

of the question. I give up the whole thing 
right here, and now. I will not so humiliate 
myself.’ 

“But, George, we’ll soon get accustomed to 
it. Rosa Bonheur wears panties.’ 

“ Panties! That’s the worst! Call them 
trousers, or pantaloons, and done with it. If 
one attempts to unsex themselves, let it be car¬ 
ried out with a bold spirit. If I go into this 
business at all, understand, I shall be a dignified, 
gentlemanly George Morgans, and back the 
fraud with the courage and audacity of a lion. 
This is the kind of a walk I shall affect. My 
voice is contralto, that’s a stroke of luck. Good¬ 
morning, Carl; superb weather for wheelings 
don’t you know,” 




1 he Hatching of a Project. 27 


^‘You’ll make the swellest kind of a chap, 
George ; a hundred per cent, better than I will. 
I’m so much shorter, and then my shape is 
'way off.” 

“ There are just as many plump fellows as 
plump girls, what are you thinking about ? 
Your figure is all right, Hel—Carl, I mean. 
What perplexes me is your small hands and 
feet, and those eyes. No young man ever had 
such girlish blue orbs as those !” 

I’ll wear high russets, and keep my hands 
in my pockets when I scent danger from any 
quarter; as to my orbs. I’ll wear-colored nose 
glasses, if necessary. No little thing like that is 
going to spoil my fun. But look here, George, 
there’s one thing that troubles me seriously, 
what brand of cigars are we going to adopt ?” 



28 


Wheels. 


Cigars ! We smoke ! That is carrying the 
joke a little too far ; I swear profoundly that I 
never will curse my womanhood by smoking, 
never!” 

‘‘Then you’ll have to set up the beer, 
George. It will never pass if you work the 
moral racket too far.” 

“ Iced tea, with a bead on it, will answer my 
purpose. I shall persist in being a model 
young bachelor. You can pose as you like. 
My habits and deportment shall be above re¬ 
proach, whatever my appearance may stand 
for; no one can remark that I was not a gen¬ 
tlemanly lady, to say the least.” 

That s all right for you, George j your 
superior age, university honors, and manly 
brow, bespeak gray matter, and great dignity ; 




The Hatching of a Project. 29 


but as for me, I must be a little swagger, or I 
can’t play my part. I shall certainly smoke.” 

Oh, Hel— ! Carl, I mean-” 

“ You must stop that profanity, George. 
Ha, ha, ha ! It may serve your purpose to 
pose as a model young bachelor, but really you 
must swear off.” 

“ Enough to make any one forget themselves. 
The idea of your saying that you would 
smoke.” 

“ ril start in on cubebs, George. But I tell 
you right here, that Em going to be a regular 
up-to-date young swell. When I get to sail¬ 
ing in too heavy, you’ll be there to call me 
down, George. Don’t, for pity’s sake, let me go 
on until I end up in the station house ! Here, 
let me try on your glasses. I’ll have to get me 




Wheels, 


30 

a pair, as an orb deadener. How do they show 
off?” 

All right. You’d better be prepared for 
emergencies.” 

“ How I wish we had our dress suits. I’m 
just dying to see myself in coat and trousers, 
and hear myself called ‘ Carl Morgans, of 
Kansas, U. S. A.’ ” 

“ Our dress suits ! How are we to obtain 
these, I would ask ? Helena Morgan, this 
whole affair is a purely chimerical undertaking. 
There is no more possibility of our being able 
to carry it out than to plan, with any degree of 
certainty, a journey to Mars. In the first place, 
how could we shuffle off the mortal coil of our 
individuality and disappear from the scene of 
action; or how enter the arena of existence 



The Hatching of a Project. 


31 


with no derivation, no parentage, and no 
acquaintanceship with the world? It was 
absurd for us to consider such an undertaking 
for a minute. It simply could not be done.’ 

“ Don’t be so positive, George, i have this 
whole thing worked out to a finish. We leave 
here presumably for the Catskills, stop at Chi¬ 
cago—Brother Charles leaves for his ranch in 
Idaho, to-morrow-” 

“ Why, certainly. He said so in his letter, 
Helena.” 

“Very well. The coast will be clear for our 
project. We will confide our scheme to Blanche 
in perfect confidence. She can have our cloth¬ 
ing made, supposedly for some distant relatives 
—country cousins living out of the city, you know 
—and carry out our programme to the end. 





32 


Wheels, 


As to shuffling off femininity and donning mas¬ 
culinity, that’s easy. We enter our brother’s 
house as young ladies—we take our departure 
as two gentlemen—and who is the wiser ? 
Blanche will not expose us, be sure of that.” 

“ You’re right there, Helena. We must bind 
her to absolute secrecy, however. She cannot 
even tell Charles.” 

‘‘ Well, I should say not. He would demolish 
the whole enterprise. No one in this world 
must be in the secret but Blanche, you and I, 
then no possible harm can come of it.” 

“ Dear Sister Blanche, dear old chum of col¬ 
lege days, as well, this is not the first secret be¬ 
tween us ! Yes, Helena, Blanche can be trusted. 
Our project is perfectly safe with her, and this 
means success for our escapade,’* 



The Hatching of a Project. . 33 


Let us begin preparations at once, George. 
It is now the last of May. We must get off by 
the middle of June. Hurrah for Europe on a 
wheel!” 

I will write a book on our experiences when 
we return.” 

Good for you, George, it will be a ‘ scorcher,’ 
in bicycle parlance.” 



CHAPTER II. 


A COMPACT WITH BLANCHE. 

“ Bless my stars, girls ! where did you come 
from this time in the morning ?” 

“ Come from ? Why, Kansas City, to be 
sure !” said Helena, rushing into her brother’s 
arms, after the fashion of young sisters. 

“ Took the sleeper, you know, Charles, to 
avoid the dust and—How do you do, brother. 

I’m not very fresh to kiss, but-” 

“ Why under heavens didn’t you wire us ? 
I’m just packed for Idaho, go in twenty 

minutes. Blanche! Blanche !’* 
r34] 



A Compact with Blanche, 


35 


“Yes, dear, I’m coming,” called a sweet voice 
from the chamber above. 

“ Lay off your things, girls. Go up stairs, do 
anything you please. You haven’t had your 
breakfast, have you ? Blanche ! Blanche, are 
you coming?” 

“ In just a moment dear. I’m looking for 
your brandy flask.” 

“ That’s packed an hour ago. Come down, 
quick, the girls are here.” 

“ How’s the baby, Charles ? I suppose it’s 
grown a lot since I saw it,” asked Helena, as 
she removed her gloves, and unpinned her 
hat. 

“ Well, I should remark! He walks all 
around now, says daddy, and mommer, tante 
Ella, and tante Onna. Cute youngster ! Go. 



3^ 


Wheels. 


ing to have him out on the ranch breaking 
colts inside of two years.” 

“You sweet things! How perfectly lovely 
of you to come just as Charles is going,” said 
Blanche, entering hurriedly, and embracing first 
one and then the other. 

“ Considerate, Blanche, to say the least,” said 
her husband, twisting the flowing ends of his 
brown mustache mischievously, as he spoke. 

“ That was awfully selfish of me, Charles ; you 
will forgive me, won’t you, dear?” said the 
pretty young wife lifting her rosy mouth for a 
kiss. 

“Just as sweet as the day I married her, girls, 
and twice as dear since the youngster came,” 
said the model husband, holding the dainty, 
white-robed creature in his strong arms, kissing 



A Co 7 npact zvith Blanche, 


37 


her cheeks, and forehead and hair. “ But I 
must be off, dearest. Good-bye, girls ! By the 
way, what about Europe ?” 

We’re going, Charles,” said Helena. 

“ That depends on circumstances,” added 
Georgiana. 

“ Depends on yourselves, girls ! Go I say, 
and God be with you! Sorry I can’t be here 
to get you started, but Blanche will engage 
your state-room at the steamship office down 
town. Better attend to it right away, dear, no 
tinae to be lost at this season. Going on the 
Continent first, I suppose ? Well, then, I would 
advise either the ‘ Furst Bismarck,’ or the 
‘ Normannia ’—twin screw, and everything 
first class—land you just where you want to 
go. Get off as soon as possible, so as to come 



JV/i£e/s. 


38 

home before bad weather. Be gone about 
three months, I reckon ? Awfully sorry to 
leave you, but good-bye, Helena. Good-bye, 
Georgiana. ‘Bon Voyage.’ Come, Blanche, I 
must see the boy a minute.” 

“ Excuse me, girls, I don’t want him to waken 
Roy. He didn’t sleep over well last night.” 

“ You’re entitled to the last kiss. You 
'' Vieedn’t be so modest about it,” laughingly re¬ 
joined Georgiana. 

“ Cable me when you get to Hamburg, girls,” 
said Charles, taking his grip, and making his 
way hurriedly toward the hall. 

“ We may go to Paris first. Can’t tell now 
what we will do,” called Georgiana after him. 

“ Take care of yourselves, that’s all. Have a 
good time, by, by ! Come on, Blanche !” 



A Compact with Blanche. 


39 


“ Don^t worry, Charles. If we go by our 
programme, it’s a clipper,” said Helena, winking 
at Georgiana. 

“ Tell us all about it when you get back. 
Sorry I can’t see you off, girls. Good-bye, good¬ 
bye,” said Charles, kissing them in a brotherly 
way, and then putting his arm lovingly about the 
waist of the little woman, who was chief in his 
affections, as he disappeared. 

“ That’s what I call a stroke of luck, that we 
should happen here just as Brother Charles is 
going, George.” 

True, Helena, as regards our project. I’m 
inclined to think, however, on sober second 
thought, that we may conclude to abandon our 
foolhardy undertaking. If Sister Blanche dis- 



40 


Wheels. 


courages it in the least degree, then the whole 
scheme goes overboard, I say.” 

Agreed, George.” 

“You unfold our plans, Helena, show her the 
disadvantages, and point out the difficulties we 
must encounter.” 

“ Not much, ril state the affirmative, that’s 
my natural side of this question. Tell her 
what a lark it will be, and show her the dead 
loads of fun there is ahead.” 

“ I’ll take the negative, then, and after we 
have exhausted our eloquence for and against, 
she shall decide which side has it. Very well. 
I’ll agree to that. Here she comes now,” said 
Georgiana. 

“Come right out to breakfast, girls,” said 
Blanche, drawing back the folding doors which 



A Compact with Blanche. 41 


led to the breakfast-room. “ Helena, you sit 
next to me ; Georgiana, you’ll have to play man 
in Charles’ absence. Take his arm chair, and 
assume the honors, please.” 

Ha, ha, ha! That’s a capital starter, ha, 
ha!” 

He, he, he ! Why, Blanche, I didn’t know 
you were a telepathist 1” 

“ What are you referring to, Georgiana ? and 
what are you both laughing at ?” 

Ho, ho, ho! Play man, eh, George? Isn’t 
that immense? Te, he, he !” 

“ Started in sooner than I expected, but it’s 
well to get in practice. What will you have, 
ladies ?” said Georgiana, in a gruff voice, 
straightening up. 



42 


Wheels. 


‘‘ Helena will be served with strawberries, I 
presume,” said Blanche, somewhat disconcerted. 

‘‘ Strawberries, yes, George. There, you’ve 
dropped one on the tablecloth! Isn’t that like 
a man, eh ?” 

“ Ha, ha, ha ! I’m doing my part just lovely 
—there goes another! Have some berries, 
Blanche ? I declare, the blamed things are 
bound to get away from me.” 

“ Help yourself, Georgiana. I’ve had break¬ 
fast, you know. Helena, have some of the 
sugar?” 

“ Oh, Blanche, if you only knew how really 
pat it was. Ha, ha, ha ! Te, he, he !” 

“ Ha, ha, ha, ha !” laughed Georgiana. 

“ Do eat your strawberries, and stop laugh- 



A Compact with Dlajich. 


43 


ing. You act perfectly idiotic, I declare,’' re¬ 
marked Blanche, reddening. 

“ Pardon, us Blanche, we do act very rude, 
but when Helena explains you will join our 
merriment.” 

“ Have more of the cream, Georgiana. I am 
certainly very anxious for an explanation. 
Help yourselves to wafers, won’t you ? Mys¬ 
teries just kill me by inches,” said Blanche, 
coldly. 

Well, Blanche, to start with, you heard us 
telling Brother Charles that we thought of 
doing Europe this summer,” began Helena. 

Yes, yes, I was just going to ask you about 
it. Quite sudden, isn’t it? I supposed you 
were going to the Catskills.” 

Brother Charles suggested Europe in his 



44 


Wheels. 


letter to us, and that set us thinking. We 
have got up a little novelty in the way of 
travel, that we are going to lay before you,” 
began Georgiana. 

“And it will all depend on you, Blanche, 
whether we cross the ocean, or stay on dry land. 
Do you see ?” remarked Helena. 

“ With me ? How very mysterious you both 
are. As though I had anything whatever to 
do with your arrangements.” 

“You have everything, Blanche; and now I 
will explain. You know that both George 
and-” 

“ What has gotten you into the habit of call¬ 
ing her George ? I don’t like it one bit> it 
sounds so mannish,” said Blanche, scowling. 

“ Ho, ho, ho ! Mannish, George ! Isn’t that 




A Compact with Blanche. 45 


too funny? You must excuse me, Sister 
Blanche, but you just about convulse me this 
morning, by your pat allusions !” 

“ Pat allusions ! That’s clear and clever, I 
must say ! Now look here, girls, if you don’t 
tell me-” 

“ We’re going to, Blanche. As I was saying, 
you know that both George and (excuse me, 
but I must call her that, as will appear later) 
and myself are addicted to the habit of wheel¬ 
ing, and we’ve been thinking that a trip through 
Europe on our bicyc-” 

“ Just the thing, girls. You have my consent 
ot once. Why, Mr. and Mrs. Solomon Carter, 
their son and daughter, and two young ladies 
from the West Side, besides Mrs. Edward Les- 





46 


Wheels, 


lie and her two sons, are going. I must cer¬ 
tainly get you girls into their party.” 

“That will never do, Blanche. We want it 
kept strictly private. By-the-way, George, that 
gives me an idea. We never told Brother 
Charles that he must not speak about our going 
to Europe. It will never do in the world to 
have him leave the city without knowing. One 
of us must go down to the station at once.” 

“ I should say so, Helena, there is not a mo¬ 
ment to be lost. I will take the very first car,” 
said Georgiana, rushing from the table, and 
getting into her jacket. 

“ Here, Blanche, you tuck in her sleeves, 
while I run out and stop the car!” said Helena^ 
plunging out of the door and down the steps 
in breathless excitement, Georgiana following. 



A Compact ivith Blanche, 47 


jabbing her hat pin right and left, and then 
pulling on her gloves, while she held her purse 
between her even white teeth. 

“ I never saw anything equal to this in my 
life, the way you girls are behaving; leaving 
your breakfast half eaten, and rushing around 
in this mad fashion,” remarked Blanche, stand¬ 
ing in the open door, as Helena came flying up 
the steps, after seeing her sister on the cars. 

“ Blanche, don’t get out of patience.” 

Out of patience! Why, Helena, you’re 
enough to drive one out of mind, the way you 
and Georgiana are going on.” 

“ I know, but when you hear all about our 
plans, you’ll not marvel at our excitement. 
Why, it frightens the life out of me, when I 
think of our hairbreadth escape ! Mercy me, 



48 


Wheels. 


but it was a close call! Maybe the train may 
start now before she gets there! What if it 
should ? Oh, dear, what if something should 
happen to the grip ? We’ll have to wire him 
then, that’s all.” 

Now, Helena, when you get your breath, I 
beg of you to explain this horrible, blood-curd¬ 
ling mystery ! What in the name of all the 
possibilities are you going to do } I actually 
believe you two girls are out of your senses.” 

“ You’re not far astray, Blanche. Upon my 
word, that gives me a pointer. If anything 
should happen—that is, if we’re discovered, you 
know—you’ll swear we acted strangely, won’t 
you, dear ? So as to prove our insanity—that’s 
a darling.” 

Helena Morgan, I never-” 



A Compact zvith Blanche, 


49 


‘‘ Wait Blanche, until I get at my strawberries 
and cream again, and then I’ll tell you the 
whole scheme. Poor George, it’s too bad she 
had to leave this nice breakfast!” 

Eat slowly, we won’t have the wafhes and 
syrup until she gets back. I’ll ring for more 
hot coffee before you begin. Won’t you have 
another dish of berries ? Set the coffee here, 
Bridget. Now I am all ready to listen. Hope 
Roy won’t wake up for an hour yet.” 

“ Well, Blanche, to make a long story short, 
we’ve been thinking quite seriously of going to 
Europe on our wheels, and wearing knicker¬ 
bockers.” 

There’3 nothing startling about that. Mrs. 

Solomon Carter wears the bloom-” 

“ But you don’t understand me, Blanche. 




50 


Wheels. 


George and I are going to wear male attire, 

and pass ourselves off as two-” 

What, two .fellows ? You don’t mean to 
tell me that you have grown so degenerate as 
that, Helena Morgan.” 

‘‘ I know it’s perfectly shocking, but-” 

Goodness, what a chance for fun ! I wish 
I were going with you ! Whatever put such a 
thing into your head ? I don’t wonder so 
much at you, either, but Georgiana ! Soul and 
body! but how did you ever manage to draw 
her into the scheme ?” 

George always would be a leader in society, 
you know, and everything in the new woman 
points to pantaloons, don’t you think so ? 
What’s the odds whether one wears knicker¬ 
bockers or full dress suits ? When the Christian 






A Compact with Blanche, 51 


women don the claw-hammer, white vest and 
stiff shirt, to sing negro melodies to the glory 
of God ; and the leading ladies adopt bicycle 
breeches, what’s wrong with wearing this and 
that together, and having a little fun, I say ?” 

“ But Charles must never know it. He’s 
awfully down on anything in the bloomer line. 
Oh, I see now what the matter was with you 
and Georgiana.” 

“To be sure ! It must be a dead secret be¬ 
tween we three. Let the people think we are 
going to the mountains. We can be lost to our 
friends for three months, that is, if Charles and 
you will stand by us. Promise, Blanche, that 
you will never divulge our secret, to your dying 
day,’’ 



52 


Wheels. 


“ Never will, unless it is for your benefit. 
That might happen, you know.” 

Impossible ! Won’t you promise, Blanche ?” 

“ I will never divulge your secret unless 
compelled to in order to protect your honor. 
Believe me, Helena, and I will help you in 
every possible way.” 

“ Go down and order our suits, and buy our 
knickerbockers, Blanche ?” 

I can’t do that. Every one knows who I am. 
It would be impossible, I fear.” 

“ Say they are for some country cousins who 
have sent their measures by you, and so forth.” 

‘‘ You 11 do, Helena. That scheme is worthy 
of the original schemer. Here comes Georgi- 
ana now.” 


Did you make it, George ?” asked Helena, 



A Compact with Blanche. 


53 


springing up from the table, and grasping her 
sister’s hand, ecstatically. 

“To be sure I did ! And Charles was per¬ 
fectly lovely. Said he wouldn’t breathe a word, 
but thought it awfully queer why we wished to 
keep our European trip such a profound secret, 
ha, ha ! You’ve told Blanche, I suppose ?” 

“Yes, I have finally had my curiosity satis¬ 
fied ; and I must exclaim that for a genuine 
lark it beats anything, Chicago not excepted.” 

“ Kansas City ahead, eh ? Well, that’s good. 
Now for the verdfct which makes us or unmakes 
us. Blanche, do you advke our going ?” 

“ That’s putting it in a neW light, Georgiana. 
I cannot say that I advise such a wild adventure, 
but you have my consent, and I will do every¬ 
thing I can to further the expedition. More- 



54 


V/heels. 


over, I will keep your secret and do everything 
in my power to protect your honor, should any 
trouble arise.” 

“ That’s all we want, George ; it’s a go. 
Europe on a wheel, hurrah !” Saying this Hel¬ 
ena seated herself at the table and began eating 
her breakfast for the third time. 

“ I wish we could shift the responsibility of 
this escapade on some one’s shoulders; but 
we’ll have to bear it ourselves, Helena,” said 
Georgiana, throwing her gloves on a chair, as 
she resumed her seat at the table. 

“ Well, I wish you any amount of fun, and a 
safe return, dears. As I was saying to Helena, 
I wish I were going with you,” said Blanche, 
pouring the coffee into the prettily decorated 
cups, as she was speaking. 



A Co 77 tpact with Bla 7 iche, 


55 


“ If we fail, and are discovered, Sister Blanche 
is going to swear we are lunatics. That will 
let us out in great shape, George.” 

Will you do this, Blanche ? I mean seri¬ 
ously, now,” asked Georgiana. 

“ I most certainly will, and not violate the 
truth either, ha, ha!” said Blanche, good- 
humoredly. 

“Hurrah for George and Carl Morgans, U. 
S. A. !” said Helena, waving her teaspoon over 
her head. 

“ Hurrah for Sister Blanche!” continued 
Georgiana, whirling her coffee-cup about her 
head in like fashion. 

“ Hurrah for the very latest in new women ! 
and God speed them,” responded Blanche, giv¬ 
ing each her small white hand, as a token of 
her compact with them. 



CHAPTER IIL 


ACROSS THE ATLANTIC. 

“ Look at those large birds flying about the 
ship, George. What can it mean ?” said Carl 
Morgans, peering out of the port-hole of his 
state-room on the seventh morning after leav¬ 
ing Sandy Hook. 

“ They are sea-gulls, no doubt. We must be 
getting in sight of land. Step aside, Carl, and 
let me look out. Sure enough, we are at 
Land’s End, in the very mouth of the English 
Channel.” 

‘‘ Hurrah for England ! three cheers for the 

Queen ! We had better hustle up and get out 

[56] 


Across the Atlantic, 


57 


on deck, George. Glory, but I’m glad to think 
I’m alive. I’m heartily sick of this horrid, old, 
dizzy ship, and this mussy little state-room. 
The sight of the green earth will beat anything 
they’ve got over here in the shape of show- 
business. Where’s my Rob Roy four-in-hand ? 
Say, George, these shirt sleeves are so long the 
cuffs hang over my finger ends. Men’s arms 
must be as long as telegraph poles. I’ve struck 
an idea. I’ll slip my other pair of silver clasped 
garters over them and—mercy me, they’re a 
mile too large.” 

‘‘ You’re the worst, Carl, to exaggerate !” 

Well, four inches, then. I won’t take a 
sixteenth off from that. Here, George, shove 
up this slide a little ; tighter yet ; there, that feels 
better. Oh, everything hangs so. I think 



58 


WJicols. 


men’s clothes are the worst ! I’ll tighten up 
this suspender a notch—rip—there goes a 
button! It beats Richard the Third, how 
everything acts. George, where under the sun, 
moon and stars did you put that paper of 
safetys ? I’m literally coming apart in every 
joint of my rigging. I feel so horribly loose 
and no account in these affairs. The only 
thing that would make me feel at all chic, 
would be to hang myself by the backs of these 
suspenders to that hook there on the wall, and 
sort of get pulled together once more. 
Wouldn’t I look a fright, though? Just 
imagine me, George, a regular Japanese doll 
figure, ha, ha !” 

“ Some inconveniences we have to put up 



Across the Atlantic. 


59 


with, I’ll admit, Carl, but on the whole the 
novelty quite suits me.” 

“ I never had so much fun in my whole life, 
all put together, as during the past week, and 
then to think, its only just beginning !” 

“ How does my dark coat and vest look over 
these gray pantaloons, Carl ? I thought a little 
change, as we were about to disembark, might 
be in order.” 

“ You look immense, George. No one would 
ever suspect you. Behold your Lawrence 
Barrett features, your quite proper air, and 
perfectly respectable appearance. As a young 
lady, you always impressed me as being a little 
coarse and angular, but as a gent—you’re right 
in it, by my soul you are.” 

‘‘ Glad I impress you so favorably, but Carl, 



6o 


Wheels. 


look here, you must stop using so much slang. 
Any one would think you Were brought up in 
a bowery.” 

Can’t help what they think, George, that’s 
the only way I can keep to my part. I must 
be swagger, or it’s all game with me. I’m go¬ 
ing to swear off^on caramels and chocolates, and 
smoke about three more cigarettes^ a day. Got 
to do it, or I’ll be caught sure.” 

“ You have such perverted ideas about men : 
think they must debase themselves in order 
to appear natural, while I maintain that-” 

“ Come off, George, no use preaching to m^e. 
You tend to your part of this little drama, and 
I’ll get my cue all right. I’m working this 
racket for the fun there is in it, and nothing 
short of a patrol will stop me now. Say, but 




Across the Atlantic, 


6i 

it’s rich, the quite pitiful way the ladies have of 
lookiiig at me ; as much as to remark, “ Naughty 
boy, what a trial to his brother.” Didn’t you 
observe how tenderly Mrs. James Montgomery 
, Fayette Browne laid her large, fat hand on mine 
last evening, and looking into my face, with her 
pleading brown eyes, begged of me not to light 
that pernicious cigarette. She’s immense in 
more ways than one, and I’m going to pretend 
that I am desperately in love with her, just to 
make her husband jealous. Wouldn’t that be 
sport, and not a shadow of harm in it either.” 

Carl Morgans, how ungrateful, when Mr. 
Browne has so kindly invited us to join party 
with them for a bicycle trip, wherever it may 
suit our fancy to dictate. They are such a de¬ 
voted couple, and so highly bred,” 



62 


Wheels, 


“ Oh, yes, you’d better talk. It would be all 
right, and you know it, for me to play lover as 
much as I liked with Mrs. B., but for you to go 
chumming it with Browne—that’s a kitten of an. 
other color.” 

“ Why shouldn’t Mr. Browne and I enjoy 
ourselves in the eminently proper relationship 
of friends, I would ask ? I see no harm in our 
taking a run on our wheels, now and then, or 
even going out to the theatre together, pro¬ 
vided Mrs. Browne was indisposed, and you did 
not care to make a third one to the party.” 

‘‘ George Morgans, have you forgotten that 
you are a woman?” asked Carl, his eyes flash¬ 
ing. 

“ When I donned male attire, all the woman 
in nie took flight, and I became metamor^ 



Across the Atlantic. 


63 


phosed, until there remains in me not a vestige 
of my former state of being. I possessed my¬ 
self of that ruling mentality which asserts 
itself over material conditions, repeating to my 
lower nature, I am no longer what I deemed 
myself. I am a man, therefore I must speak 
the words and have the manners of a man. 
And, presto ! as I thought so did I appear ! Say 
you now that there is anything out of the line 
of propriety for me to become the intimate of 
J. M. F. Browne ?” 

‘‘ George Morgans, I think you are perfectly 
diabolical. I feel just as much like a girl as I 
ever did, and if you persist in this kind of fool 
talk, I shall absolutely refuse to share my state¬ 
room with you. I like fun, but not to the 
extent of —— 



64 


Wheels, 


“ Ha, ha, ha! That’s capital, Carl ; but as it 
looks all right for us to associate, we won’t part 
just now, ha, ha ! It’s the way people regard 
us that we must look to, and for this reason I 
would advise you not to be too sweet on Mrs. 
B. It won’t do, Carl.” 

“ There’s no harm in my having a little quiet 
flirtation with the aforesaid, and if she grows 
sweet on me, you won’t get Browne fifty feet 
away from his adorable, and that suits my 
scheme all O. K. It may foil your plans, 
George, but I’m bound by my honor as a gen¬ 
tleman to protect the sanctity of this house¬ 
hold. If Browne gets jealous, when one goes to 
the theatre, all go, and it will be the same about 
wheeling.” 

“Your’re accommodating, I must say, Carl, 



Across the Atlantic. 


65 


but never mind. We will do the proper thing, 
of course, but to tell you the honest truth, I 
think Browne is about the handsomest, cleverest 
fellow I ever met, and if he wasn’t married— 
well.” 

“ But he is, George, so that’s all there is 
about it. Your flirtations might make mischief, 
mine cannot possibly do a particle of harm. 
But here we are talking and fussing, when we 
ought to be on deck. Hurry up, can’t you ? 
Hand me my cap, please.” 

Listen, Carl, somebody is knocking at our 
door, probably the steward. I’ll open it. We’re 
ready to go out, any way. Why, Mrs. Browne, 
is it you ? You here, too, Mr. Browne ?” 

** You two lazy fellows are sleeping away the 



66 


Wheels. 


best part of your lives. We’re just past Land’s 
End, and running for Lizard Point.” 

“ George has been poking horribly this morn¬ 
ing, a regular old bach, if there ever was one,” 
said Carl. 

“ Now that’s not the case at all. It’s all Carl’s 
fault, he’s as fussy as a girl.” 

I will take your part, Carlos dear. You are 
altogether too impetuous to be fussy. Now 
haven’t I the best of the argument, Mr. Mor¬ 
gans ?” 

“ Seeing that you are the only lady in the 
case, I must-” began George. 

“ Oh, don’t mention it, Mr. Morgans. My 
size quite absolves you from any gallantry usu¬ 
ally directed toward the weaker sex. Now, 
Carlos dear, being the youngest, naturally claims 





Across the Atlantic. 


67 


our protection, and really has become quite a 
pet of mine. Isn’t it so, dear ?” 

Thanks, you are very nice, but perhaps Mr. 
Browne might-” 

Nonsense, boy, Dubby’s got to have some¬ 
thing to take the place of the pug, and I’m will¬ 
ing to divide up.” 

“ Now, Hubby, that wasn’t a bit nice. Of 
course, I’m very fond of my dogs, but Carl 
understands that my regard for him is quite of 
another nature ; more spiritual, I might say.” 

“ Dubby’s very fond of spirits—that is, 
ghosts.” 

“Well, I’m no ghost, that’s certain,” ob¬ 
jected Carl. 

“ Hubby is so unfortunate in his selection of 
terms. Now if he had stopped at spirits, any 




68 


Wheels, 


one might have thought me intemperate ; and 
ghosts, why that calls up a ghastly array of 
predecessors—grandmothers and great-grand¬ 
mothers, grandfathers and great-grand-” 

“ Hold on, Dubby, I swear if you’re going to 
name all the skeletons from here to Adam, we 
might as well give up the ghost first as last.” 

“ Why, Mr. Browne, how witty,” said George, 
laughing. 

Pardon me, Mr. Morgans, but I never 
praise Hubby’s witticisms and puns ; it’s hard 
enough to manage him in his most humble and 
abject state. I tremble for the result when he 
discovers his potential. That will be a la¬ 
mentable day for me, .Mr. Morgans. Carlos 
dear, would you mind my taking your arm ? I 
think we might be excused and go out on deck 




Across the Atla^itic. 


69 


the air is quite oppressive. Your brother and 
Hubby can follow at their pleasure.” 

“ Don’t be in such a hurry, Dubby, some 
things have got to be settled right here. Have 
a cigar, Morgans. You generally prefer a 
cigarette, Carl, but take a royal Havana, it will 
brace you up in great shape. Now, what I was 
going to have decided, is this, whether we are 
to go on to Hamburg, and give Germany a 
whirl, or get off at Southampton and ship by 
steamer to Havre, and thence by rail to Paris.” 

“ What does Mrs. Browne suggest ? She will 
not waive her right to decide this question, 
surely,” said George, holding the cigar awk¬ 
wardly between his fingers, and casting a timid 
look in its direction as he spoke. 



70 


Wheels, 


“ Speak up, Dubby. Shall it be France, or 
Germany, as a starter T' 

“ Carlos, dear boy, won’t you tell us what 
your pleasure would be ?” 

‘‘ Whatever would be conducive to your hap¬ 
piness,” began Carl. 

“ Oh, dear, wasn’t that very sweet ? But 
now, seriously, I want to know your own cun¬ 
ning little wish. Shall it be France, or Ger¬ 
many, Carlos dear ?” 

“ France, first, last and all the time. Hur¬ 
rah for Paris, and the white boulevards !” said 
Carl, giving his foot a funny kick, by way of 
emphasis. 

“ France first, then Italy, Switzerland, Aus¬ 
tria, Germany, England, home. Is that the 
programme, Dubby Y' asked Browne. 



Across the Atlantic. 


7^ 


“ With a pinch of Scotland and a nip of Ire¬ 
land, that will do, Hubby.” 

“ Here goes for getting our baggage trans¬ 
ferred, then. Come on, Morgans, we’ll attend 
to details, while Dubby and Carl get a sight at 
the shipping. England shows off finely as we 
approach Southampton,” said Browne, leading 
the way to the cabin deck. 

“ So this is the British Channel. Well, I can 
hardly believe my eyes that we are really across. 
Isn’t it a lovely spectacle to view these magnifi¬ 
cent vessels and beautiful, white-winged yachts, 
careening about. It almost makes me wish I 
were not a woman, so as to be able to man one 
of these sweet ships,” said Mrs. Browne, as she 
swung her voluminous umbrella-skirts, and dis¬ 
played her quite conspicuously broad person, 



72 


Wheels. 


while gesticulating right and left on the impos¬ 
ing scene before her. 

“ Hurrah, Morgans, let’s go down and see to 
those trunks, so we can have breakfast. I’m as 
hungry as a shark. This breeze whets a man’s 
appetite as keen as a razor, and I’ve been up 
banging around for two mortal hours,” said 
Browne, starting to go. 

‘‘ Now, Hubby dear, think of me', how my 
poor sides have been pinched into a jelly. Those 
berths were made for slabs, instead of human 
beings, I say.” 

“ Then we’re all slabs, Mrs. B., save you-” 

began Carl. 

“ Until we boarded this vessel, then we be¬ 
came lumber,” interposed Browne. 

“ Now, wasn’t that very clever What were 




Across the Atlantic. 


73 


you going to say, Carlos dear? Hubby shall 
not interrupt you again. It was something very 
nice, I know.” 

“ I was going to add that none of the rest of 
us had complained of too much squeezing. I 
admit I rather like it,” said Carl, putting his 
thumbs in the armholes of his vest, and hold¬ 
ing the unlighted cigar languidly between his 
dainty fingers. 

“ That sounds just like a girl,” said Browne, 
halting. 

“ I don’t know why you should say that, Mr. 
Browne,” said Carl, blushing. 

“ Merely a notion Tve got about the gender 
of words ; now, squeezed seems feminine in an 
eminent degree, while squeezer is undeniably 



74 


Wheels. 


masculine, that is, it looks that way to me, re¬ 
plied Browne. 

“ Don’t mind Hubby, Carlos dear, he’s color 
blind, can’t tell green from blue, nor sweet 
from sour-” 

“ That accounts for my lack of taste in marry- 
ing you. Dubby.” 

‘‘ That’s one of Hubby’s compliments. He’s 
very considerate for others. It isn’t any won¬ 
der I adore him, the gentle partner of my 
bosom,” sighed Mrs. B., wiping a tear from her 
fat cheek. 

“ I think you’re abused, Mrs. B., and if I was 
big enough I’d just make your husband sorry 
that he hurt your feelings and insulted me, 
by saying I talked like a girl, so,” said Carl, 





Across the Atlantic. 


75 


speaking in a low voice as he moved close to 
her side. 

. Hel—Carl, you had better be careful what 
you say,” said George, who had been listening 
to the above remarks. 

“ And you’d better be careful how you 
swear in company, George,” retorted Carl. 

‘‘ Stop quarreling, everybody. You’re all 
hungry, that’s what’s the matter,’’ said Browne, 
smiling. 

“ I guess you’re about right, Browne. We’ll 
get our baggage attended to, and then-” be¬ 

gan George. 

“ Eat, well I should exclaim !” said Browne, 
linking arms with Morgans, and going to the 
rear of the steamer. 

‘M’m awfully glad they’re gone. Somehow 




76 


Wheels. 


your husband makes me terribly nervous/’ said 
Carl, pouting his rosy lips, as he confidingly 
slipped his hand under cover of Mrs. Browne’s 
expansive sleeves, and strutted beside her to 
the extreme bow of the ship. 

“ Fayette is horribly matter-of-fact, and 
don’t seem to appreciate the highly wrought 
sensibilities of my finer nature. When I was 
at home I had dear Brother Percy, and my 
dogs, but now if I didn’t have you, I should be 
lonely indeed. Do you know that I am get¬ 
ting alarmingly attached to you, Carlos dear ? 
Just think, I have known you but five days, 
and yet ‘ eternity could not efface your image 
from my heart,’ as the poet has feelingly re¬ 
marked. My love nature is positively starv¬ 
ing.” 



Across the Atlantic. 


77 


One would never suspect it from your gen¬ 
eral appearance, dear Mrs. B.,”said Carl, glanc¬ 
ing at the high chest, which rose and fell near 
enough his face to suggest a conjfortable nap, 
and pleasant dreams.” 

“ That is my misfortune. I appear so large 
and self-contained that it never occurs to any 
one to offer me a grain of loving sympathy. 
Now your hand on my arm seems just heavenly. 
Don’t take it away, please. You ^eem, some¬ 
how, more like a daughter, a sweet seventeen- 
year-old girl, than a boy. I declare if it wasn’t 
for those old cigars, and cigarettes, and the 
smell of smoke about you, I should have to 
check myself from calling you Caroline, instead 
of Carlos.” 

“ Really, now, Mrs. B., I don’t think that a 



78 


Wheels. 


bit complimentary. If there’s anything I 
abominate, it’s a Miss Nancy, namby-pamby, 
milksop, sort of chap. I didn’t like it any too 
well to be named alongside the pugs in your 
affections, but-” 

“Carlos, Carlos dear! Now that is too bad 
that you have been so wounded in your tender 
little bosom by my thoughtless words. Why, 
you are on the very pinnacle of my love, not 
lower than the roof garden of the Masonic 
Temple, while the poor dogs are in the base¬ 
ment, so to speak. Does the ratio of that pro¬ 
portion ease your tender, suffering heart, Carlos 
dear ?” 

“ The dog account is all settled, but the girl 
business is what works me up into a high fever. 




Across the Atlantic, 


79 


If we’re going to be friends, that talk will have 
to cease.” 

“ I won’t be naughty any more, and if you 
can’t return my affection, Carlos dear, in the 
same Masonic Temple proportion, let me know 
that you have a Potter Palmer residence feel¬ 
ing, or even a Hyde Park Station regard.” 

‘‘You know Chicago, then, Mrs. Browne ?” 

“ Certainly, dear. I was in the Hall of the 
Beauties—the world’s great beauties, Carlos 
dear!” 

“ Now I knaw you’re stuffing pie, Mrs. B.l 
As though yon were on exhibition at the 
World s Fair. Nonsense !” 

“ You do not have a very exalted idea of my 
charms, dear boy.” 

“ Oh, yes ; I like your looks immensely.” 



8o 


Wheels, 


“ Immensely ! Very good. Appropriate to 
my style. But I will correct your misunder¬ 
standing ; I was in the Hall of the Beauties, but 
did not pose, Carlos dear. No, I did not pose, 
but I would like to propose.” 

But your husband, Mrs. B.?” 

^‘Oh, dear, yes. I forgot all about Hubby 
darling. Here he comes now. Seems to have 
taken a desperate fancy to your brother. Well, 
I’m heartily glad if they’re having a good time.’’ 

“ But what if it were a girl he was devoting 
himself to, Mrs. B.?” 

“ That would be perplexing ! But to drown 
my sorrow, I would straightway get a divorce, 
and make a Leap Year proposition to you, 
Carlos dear.” 



Across the Atlantic. 


8i 


Mrs. Browne, how dare you talk so ? You 
cannot mean what you say.” 

‘ Don’t be so horribly serious, dear boy. 
Life’s a stupendous joke, you know. You’re 
a joke, and your brother’s a joke, and I’m a 
joke, and Hubby dear-” 

“ Yes, Dubby, what’s wanting ?” said Browne, 
coming up. 

“ Ha, ha, ha ! Carlos and I have been think¬ 
ing of the joke on you.” 

On me ? What the devil is it ?” asked 
Browne, curiously. 

“ Married life. Hubby, ha, ha !” 

“ That’s the most brilliant thing you ever got 
off in your sweet life. Dubby Browne. But I 
say. Hurrah for breakfast! Morgans, there, is 
as pale as a sheet, and I’m just ready to collapse. 




82 


tV/icels, 


Come on, I say,” remarked Browne, slapping his 
wife in no very gentle manner on her broad, 
fat shoulders, and roughly clutching her arm, 
as they led the way into the spacious dining- 
hall. 



CHAPTER IV. 


BOIS DE BOULOGNE. 

The morning is perfection, Browne.” 

Everything is perfection in Paris, Morgans. 
Look at these pavements. They’re positively 
immaculate, as smooth and white as marble. 
What a brilliant idea struck us to bring our 
wheels.” 

“ And what fortune favored us in meeting 
these delightful young men, I would add,” said 
Mrs. B., mounting her wheel gracefully, despite 
her size. 

Thanks, Mrs. Browne. I think good for¬ 
tune was equally vouchsafed to us, in that we 

[83J 


84 


Wheels. 


were the recipients of your kind invitation to 
join you in wheeling,” remarked George, riding 
up to the side of Mr. B., who was striking out 
from Place de la Concorde to Bois de Boulogne, 
by way of Champs Elysees, through the Arc de 
Triomphe. 

“ That’s what I say. It was the greatest 
stroke of luck our meeting with you people. 
It would have been horridly dull going about 
alone,” said Carl, wheeling alongside Mrs. 
Browne, as they fairly flew over the beautiful 
Champs Elysees, and soon emerged into Place 
de I’Etoile, from which centre, crowned by the 
largest triumphal arch in the world, radiates 
twelve boulevards of surpassing beauty. 

“ Is not this spot charming to the extent of 
actual felicity, Carlos dear ? Let me know if 



Bois De Boulogne, 


85 


you are happy. Touch my hand if you do not 
want to speak; ‘ actions speak louder than 
words/ we are told,” said Mrs. B. extending 
her arm in front of Carl, as he was making for 
the Arch. 

“ My mouth is freer than my hands. I am 
in transports, and want to fly. I used to sing, 

‘ Oh, had I the wings,’ etc., but I never ex¬ 
pected to wear them in Paris. Just see me 
make figure eights, and cut magic circles,” said 
Carl, sailing back and forth in quite childish 
delight around the grand Arc de Triomphe, 
and finally bringing up by the side of Mrs. 
B. They set out at good speed to follow 
her husband and George Morgans down the 
avenue, which led to the beautiful wooded 


park. 



86 


Wheels, 


Carlos dear, we need not undo ourselves 
by attempting to follow those eccentric high 
flyers. We shall know the park when we get 
to it, and if they leave us altogether, which is 
not unlikely, we can return by the Trocadero 
at our leisure.” 

“ Quite right, Mrs. B. I am at your pleas¬ 
urable service, and whatever I can do to make 
you happy, just tickles me to death.” 

“ That is what I should call a maiden speech, 
ha, ha! It began with such a flourish, and 
ended so modestly. You are so fresh and 
original, Carlos dear. You continually charm 
me. 

“I don’t mind being called fresh, Mrs. B., 
that is, if you do not infer that I am quite 
insipid, without flavor, you understand, but 



Bois De Boulog7ie, 


87 


when you talk about my being girlish, all the 
manliness in me revolts at the idea, quite 
angers me, you know. George declares I am a 
regular little sinner, but if it’s original sin— 
you used the term original, I believe—it’s noth¬ 
ing I’m to blame for, that’s certain.” 

Don’t be heretical, Carlos dear. You must 
believe that you are altogether at fault for 
Adam’s misbehavior, or you cannot feel the 
terrible load of guilt under which we are all 
staggering, nor have the proper sense of grati¬ 
tude for the atonement. You must be a good 
boy, Carlos dear, and believe everything,” said 
Mrs. B., tapping him playfully under the chin. 

“ Bother such a code of morals. I’ve got to 
have my fun first, whatever comes afterwards. 
As for believing what I can’t, well, that’s like a 



88 


Wheels, 


snake swallowing itself; it simply can’t be 
done.” 

“ Better to believe that a snake can swallow 
itself, Carlos dear, than to become a skeptic. 
A naughty, wicked, free-and-easy thinker, they 
are the worst kind of people to manage.” 

“ How did you come to be a bicyclist, Mrs. 
B., and entertain such horridly old-fashioned 
notions ? Why, the up-to-date woman believes 
that she was once a monkey, and the men were 
all Chimpanzees, and Orang-outangs. Aren’t 
monkeys cute, though ?” 

“ No, indeed, the dirty little beasts. I quite 
abhor and loathe them, but what I do pos¬ 
itively admire is a little white curly pig.” 

‘‘ Give me your hand, Mrs. B., we’re a tie on 
pigs ; not that I like them personally, oh, no. 



Bois De Boulogiie, 


89 


quite the reverse, but on financial lines, I may 
say, they have been the making of our whole 
family. We were not raised on pigs, that is, 
we never ate them exclusively, but they raised 
us, so to speak. The governor was a dealer in 
pork, you see, that accounts for our being in 
Europe. Accounts for everything, I may say.” 

“I knew you were from a high parentage. 
So your father was a governor. Of what State, 
may I ask ?” 

“ Oh, no, that’s papa in slangy parlance. He 
never objected to our calling him so, however, 
rather liked it we thought, it sort of took away 
the odor of pork, you know.” 

I know your mother must have been distin¬ 
gue at all events. Nothing but blue blood, of 
the very deepest cerulean blue, could ever have 



90 


Wheels, 


produced this adorable hand, dimpled at every 
joint ; why, I must positively kiss it. I really 
couldn’t help it, Carlos dear.” 

“You’ll have to release my hand, Mrs. B., 
we’re running into quite a tangle, I fear.” 

“ Dear little hand, I hate to let it go.” 

“ Oh, they’re not very small, number sevens, 
you know. My coat sleeves are so deuced big, 
that’s what’s the matter,” said Carl, jerking his 
hand away, and wheeling quite to the other 
side of the avenue. 

“You needn’t feel so perplexed, dear, no 
great disgrace to have finely-formed extrem. 
ities, I should say. Now your feet and ankles,” 
said Mrs. B., following closely. 

“ By-the-way, Mrs. B., I crossed over to get 



Bois De Boulogne. 


91 


a whiff of cigarette, thinking you might object 
to the smoke, you understand.” 

“ I don’t mind the odor, and have no right to 
object to your smoking, but, Carlos dear, with 
such teeth, and such a mouth, it does fairly 
make me shudder to think of polluting them 
with those vile cigarettes.” 

“ Thanks, Mrs. B., you’re awfully good not to 
object, for the habit is so fixed upon me that 
my nerves quite require the stimulant. I’ve 
been thinking that in spite of prevailing cus¬ 
tom, I shall let my mustache grow. I hate to 
look so effeminate, as I know I must, since so 
many have remarked it. As my mother was a 
woman, and I have her style of features, it 
couldn’t be avoided, of course,” said Carl, 
striking a match, as he slowed up and lighted 



92 


Wheels. 


his medicated cigarette, taking care to avoid 
the windward side. 

“You are in college, I suppose, dear? You 
must pardon my calling you endearing names, 
but you do so remind me of Percy, and they 
seem to belong to you quite naturally.” 

“ Quite excusable, Mrs. B., no one calls me 
Morgans, that belongs exclusively to George.” 

“ I was asking about your school, dear. 
What college are you attending?” 

“ Pm just out of high school, but I’m seri¬ 
ously considering Orchard Lake Military Acad¬ 
emy/’ said Carl, puffing away violently. 

“ Well, that’s too absurdly funny for any use. 
Exactly what we’re contemplating for Percy. 
Quite near Detroit, you know. Why, I shall 



93 


Bois De Botilofrne, 

<_> 

write him immediately. Perhaps you can room 
together. How lovely!” 

“ Yes, I should say so, but perhaps you had 
better defer mentioning it for the present; you 
see it is not quite settled yet,” said Carl, un¬ 
easily. 

“ But we had better settle it right now. I 
am quite in the spirit of having you room to¬ 
gether, your personality is so captivating, 
and-” 

‘‘ Does Percy smoke, Mrs. B. ?” 

“ Oh, dear, no ! that might be an objection, 
but you certainly are going to give up this per¬ 
nicious habit for my sake, dear. Won’t you, 
please ?” 

“ That is the least in my catalogue of crimes, 
Mrs. B. I am quite addicted to wine, and as 




94 


Wheels, 


for poker and baccarat, there’s where my 
pocket money goes. We must not fail to halt 
at Monte Carlo. I’m dying to try my luck at 
roulette.” 

“ Why, Carlos dear, you astonish me. I 
thought you quite innocent of worldly dissipa¬ 
tions.” 

“ Oh, that’s no sin, trying one’s hand, as they 
call it. In Europe, you know, one can do al¬ 
most anything—drink beer, wine, champagne, 
indulge themselves liberally in all directions, 
for educational purposes, you understand. 
Now, I’m a moral young chappie, even if I 
don’t swallow original sin, done up in sugar- 
coated doses ; but, in these days, one must have 
had experience, even at high cost, in order to 
achieve greatness in any direction. I think I 



Bois De Boulogne. 


95 


have made it quite plain to you, Mrs. B.,” said 
Carl, congratulating himself on his depravity 
dodge. 

I wonder if I could have been so deceived 
in this young person’s innocence,” said Mrs. B., 
aside, biting her lips in a perplexed way. 

There is George, now, he is one of your 
models. Strange you don’t take to him instead 
of me,” said Carl. 

“ But you have such a sweet mouth, and such 
eyes. They have penetrated my very soul. 
Even if I knew you to be all that you have said, 
still I could not but love you,” said Mrs. B., in 
quite a serious tone. 

“ You’re so awfully sweet yourself, that ac¬ 
counts for your taking a fancy to me. I beg 



96 


Wheels. 


your pardon, Mrs. Browne, I forgot you were 
married.” 

“ But the difference in our ages quite admits 
of your boyish sentiments. Of course I do not 
take them too seriously, but it quite pleases me 
to have you speak lovingly. I need it, you 
know, being starved, as I think I mentioned to 
you before. Now, there would not be a ghost 
of harm in your calling me Dearest, if-” 

“ May I ask your age, Mrs. B.?” 

^ Why, certainly. I delight to pour my con¬ 
fidence into your young bosom. I’ve just 
turned the hoary corner of twenty-three.” 

“ Nineteen and twenty-three. Well, that 
done by subtraction would only leave four years ; 
hardly difference enough to warrant-” 


“ Do it by addition, Carlos dear, that makes 





97 


Bois De Boulogne. 

forty-two. We don’t have to subscribe to cus¬ 
tom in our adjustment of these little unimport¬ 
ant matters.” 

By-the-way, what a crowd we’re running 
into. These dashing French beauties quite un¬ 
balance one. My, but they’re awfully swell!” 

“ Enough to turn older heads than yours, 
Carlos dear. I am persuaded Husband and Mr. 
Morgans are ogling them.” 

A man can’t go it blind in Paris, Mrs. B.” 

Blind in Paris ! Can any one think of a 
more pitiable condition. One really never 
knows the commercial value of a good pair of 
eyes until they strike this city of manifold beau¬ 
ties. I said to Fayette this morning, Now take 
Morgans around and show him the sights. I 
thought I might as well consent at the outset, 



98 


Wheels, 


for their catalogue of sins will suffice without a 
supplement of lies to answer for.” 

‘‘You are too indulgent, Mrs. Browne,” re¬ 
plied Carl, looking troubled. 

“ Not any more so than Hubby is to me. 
‘ Now, Dubby,’ he replied, ‘ you do the same by 
young Carl. Go to the Louvre, the Luxem¬ 
bourg, show him the Bon Marche, take a sail 
with him on the Seine, go anywhere, do any¬ 
thing you can to make the boy happy.’ ” 

“ That’s generosity itself,” said Carl, righting 
himself, after dodging a rollicking belle, who 
turned neither to the right nor to the left, as 
she spun past.” 

“ Awfully good of Hubby, especially as he 
must know how delighted I am in your com- 

V 

pany.” 



Bois De Boulogne, 


99. 


‘‘ I hope he don’t take George into any bad 
places, he is a model of goodness and innocence, 
if he is my brother.” 

“ That remark shows that you are a little bit 
of a fraud, Carlos dear. It’s a naughty thing 
to dispute your word, but I believe, with all your 
boasts of dissipation, that you are a pure, sweet 
creature, and those naughty cigarettes are only 
cubebs after all, ha, ha, ha ! my dear little 
fraudie,” remarked Mrs. B., pointing her finger 
at Carl. 

“ You can do as you like about believing me, 
Mrs. B.,” said Carl, tartly. 

Pardon me, Carlos dear. Squeeze my 
hand just a little bit, that I may feel you for¬ 
give me.” 

It requires all my attention, about now, to 



lOO 


Wheels^ 


dodge these flyers. My senses ! but look at 
them coming ! You are an adept at wheeling, 
Mrs. B., or you’d be run over. See ahead ! 
Why, I believe there are five hundred bikes in 
sight at this minute. I’ve wheeled at Newport, 

but this beats any- Look out there! 

Can’t you keep to the right ?” 

Pardonez, Monsieur,” said the Frenchman, 
shooting past like a meteor. 

The crowd of cyclers had now become one 
vast, buzzing swarm of human bees, in which 
Mi?s. Browne and her tender protege, were quite 
lost. At some distance ahead Browne and the 
elder Morgans were resting beside their wheels, 
in a shady nook, on the ' very outskirts of the 
Bois de Boulogne Park.” 

You have what I call a model wife, Browne, 




101 


Bois De Boulogne. 

Most women would insist on riding beside their 
husbands,” said George. 

“ Oh, Dubby’s all right. We’ve beert married 
five years, more or less, and she don’t object to 
my going out with the boys now and then. 
Has her own clubs, her own set, and that sort 
of thing, you know. Now she’s just taken with 
your brother, something to pet and coddle. 
She’s that kind of a woman, motherly. Never 
having had children of her own, I suppose.’^ 
Too bad she couldn’t have hdid a large 
family, with such a penchant for pets. Why 
don’t you get her a dog ?” 

“ A dog, ha, ha ! Why, bless your heart, she 
has a dozen of them. Mastiff, King Charley, 
pugs, a Yorkshire, greyhound, and I don’t 


know what all.” 



102 


Wheels, 


“Why didn’t she bring them? We would 
have made quite a procession, imposing in the 
extreme,” said George, somewhat ironically. 

“ See here, what in the devil is the matter 
with you, Morgans ? My wife isn’t going to 
corrupt your upstart of a brother !” 

“ Nothing special the matter with me, Browne. 
If you’re willing to leave them together it’s all 
right, only-” 

“ Of course it’s all right. Don’t be a fool, 
Morgans, have some style about you. We’ve 
come to do Europe, let’s do it, and be darned, 
I say.” 

“ But you are married, Browne-” 

“ The devil, I- Well, what of it, if I am 

married ? That don’t count in wicked Paris, 
pard. But, I say, Morgans, how does it hap- 






ro3 


Bois De Boulogne. 

pen that you’re not in it with the rest of us 
fellows?” You’re quite a masher, I vow.” 

“ Thank you. Probably I have never come 
across the woman who was exactly of your 
opinioUo If I ever do commit the folly it will 
be for love, and I’ll be true to my vows or be 
hanged,” said Gdorge, curtly. 

“ My sentiments exactly, Morgans. Nothing 
else goes—that is, my second marriage—you 
tumble ?” said Brown, singing : 

“ ‘ Love, sweet lov^ is the poet’s dream. 

Love, sweet love, is the poet’s theme 
What is love of which they sing? 

■ Only a phantom—unreal thing,’” 



CHAPTER V. 


THE RIVIERA. 

Shipping from Paris by rail to Marseilles, 
our party had again resumed their wheels, and 
following the shores of the Mediterranean, were 
now approaching Nice. 

The afternoon sun was gilding the minarets 

of the city with a softened glow, and all the 

broad expanse of sapphire sea, whipped into 

frolic by the playful winds, seemed dashed with 

molten gold, and strewn with crimson plumes. 

The lanteen sails, like mammoth sea birds, 

hovered at the shores, or tossed like burnished 

swans upon the high-borne waves. Along the 
[104J 


The Riviera. 


105 

beach, the red-cheeked washerwomen gathered 
their sun-bleached linen, bearing the monstrous 
bundles lightly on their heads, as hand on hip, 
they loitered for a friendly chat, or led a band 
of children to their distant homes. 

Mrs. James Montgomery Fayette Browne 
was wheeling slowly beside her husband, and, 
following at some distance, came George and 
Carl Morgans. They seemed in earnest con¬ 
versation, scarcely heeding the beauties of this 
Queen City of the Riviera, which, from appar¬ 
ent manifestations, was so entirely absorbing 
the attention of the foremost couple. 

Now, Carl, remember what I have told 
you ; be very guarded in your remarks to Mrs. 
B. While I have the utmost confidence in 
Browne, I am not at all sure of his wife. She 



Wheels, 


106 

impresses me as one who is playing a part, and 
to tell you the truth, I don’t believe her hus¬ 
band cares a flip for her.” 

“ All the more reason why I should stand up 
for her. I’m having a jolly time, and as for 
playing off on us, let her sail in ; if she can 
beat us she’s a daisy.” 

It’s disgraceful, Carl, the way you use slang ! 
You’ll have to wear male attire for the rest of 
your life ; you certainly never will have the 
appearance of a lady again !” 

“ Now, George, hold* on ! We’ve got our¬ 
selves into this business, and we must pull 
through or make a sneak. I prefer the former 
and whatever is ^ecessary to my part, must 
bend to my purpose. I’ve got to use slang, 
smoke, make love to. Mrs. B., and tell lies. 



The Riviera. 


107 


“ Of course we must prevaricate to some ex¬ 
tent, but let it always be the last expedient, 
and never in the spirit of willful untruth, Carl.” 

“If we only knew what they were going to 
spring on us, so as to be sort of prepared, but 
they ask the most unthought-of questions! 
We may congratulate ourselves that during our 
stay in Paris we managed to elude suspicion 
and avert a calamity, George.” 

“ I agree with you, Carl; but what troubles 
me now, is this nonsense between you and Mrs. 
B. I honestly believe the silly thing is in love 
with you.” 

“In love with me? Well that’s not bad, see¬ 
ing the attraction is mutual,” said Carl, whist- 
ling gaily. 

“ I can’t for my life see what you find cap- 



io8 


Wheels, 


tivating about her, or what possible attraction 
a woman of her size can have for a boy like 
you !” 

“ She’s a magnetic woman! When she 
touches me with the ends of her pulpy fingers, 
I can fairly see the sparks fly. She actually 
casts some magic spell over me.” 

“ Shouldn’t be surprised ! That’s probably 
the way she captured her husband, and holds 
him, now that she has him. Love don’t play 
a conspicuous part in the match, that’s certain. 
If she’s that kind of a person, Carl Morgans, 
you had better keep entirely away from her.” 

“ Oh, don’t bother your brains over me. 
There isn’t much danger of anything serious 
happening between two fond women, I should 



The Riviera, 


log 


say; but beware how you get too chummy 
with James Montgomery Fayette Browne.” 

“ Too late to sound a danger signal in that 
direction, Carl. I’m desperately in love with 
him now ; can’t help it, if I were to die for it 
to-morrow. As for Browne, he treats me in the 
most man-for-man fashion ; doesn’t care a whit 
for me, except as a bon comrade. Why should 
he ? He thinks I am what my appearance 
justifies him in thinking, while I, knowing my¬ 
self a woman, and he a perfect paragon of a 
man, cannot keep my heart from positively 
adoring him. Sometimes I think we had better 
part company and go by ourselves. The out¬ 
look is certainly dangerous,” said George. 

“ I can’t say that the case is quite so bad on 
my side. But there’s one thing certain, if I 



I lO 


Wheels, 


were really a man, Mrs. B. would get a divorce 
from Browne and marry me.” 

“ Nonsense, Carl ; a woman marrying a 
woman, ha, ha, ha ! How perfectly absurd.” 

“ She’s not to blame. She thinks I’m a fel¬ 
low all straight.” 

“ All the more ridiculous. A great mountain 
of a woman like her in love with a boy half her 
size, and ten years younger. I’ll be bound.” 

“ She’s only twenty-three, George ; honest.” 

I don’t care if she were sixteen, she’s too 
silly for anybody’s society, and you’re a perfect 
little simpletcm^^ to let her touch you. I don’t 
blame Browne for not being tenderly demonstra¬ 
tive over her. I couldn’t respect him if I really 
thought he admired her. He may esteem her 



The Riviera. 


Ill 


for some good quality. She is generous- 

hearted, I admit, but-” 

You’re jealous, that’s what’s the matter with 
you, George< Mrs. Browne is just as nice as 
her husband, any day, and if he would treat her 
with a little more consideration, she wouldn’t 
be so starved for affection as she says she is. I 
pity Mrs. B., from the bottom of my heart. If 
he touches her at all, it’s a slap here, and a dig 
there, enough to kill the poor thing.” 

^‘Yes, she is delicate, the dear, abused 
creature.” 

“ You needn’t use any of your sarcasm, 
George. I am Mrs. James Montgomery 
Fayette Browne’s friend, and I shall protect 
her.” 

‘‘Your chivalry is quite manly, I declare. 




I 12 


Wheels, 


But all the s^ame, I would advise you to drop 
this sentimental nonsense. It’s positively 
sickening, upon my word, Carl. I should think 
Browne would pitch you into the Mediter¬ 
ranean. A good cold plunge would do you 
both good, for that matter.” 

“ Georgiana Morgan ! I don’t care if I do 
call you that, you make me so mad. If I were 
living in a glass house myself, I would be a lit¬ 
tle careful how I pitched stones at other peo¬ 
ple. You are the real villain in this play; in 
love with a married man. I’d be ashamed to 
own it, if I were you. I wonder what Brother 
Charles an.d Blanche would say ? My lines are 
seraphic, compared with yours. Don’t preach 
morals to me, George. Swallow your own ser¬ 
mons, I say.” 



The Riviera, 


113 

What’s all this controversy I hear between 
you boys ? Anything gone wrong ?” asked 
Browne, slackening his pace so as to let them 
come up. 

George is touching me up on my besetting 
sins, that’s all. I’ve been in the habit of endur¬ 
ing this sort of thing on going to bed and get¬ 
ting up, but these extras are tough on a 
fellow.” 

“ Come over beside me, Carlos dear. My 
mantle of charity is broad enough to cover you 
from all tempests of whatever nature. Is my 
poor boy being terribly set upon ?” said Mrs. 
B., laying her hand tenderly on Carl’s arm. 

“ Any mantle that would cover your two fat 
shoulders. Dubby, would make a tent for ordin- 



Wheels, 


114 

ary mortals. They’re not a pinch too broad, 
though, when it comes to shifting my burdens.” 

“ You’re right, Hubby dear. We are a good- 
sized family when it comes to avordupois, if we 
don’t count many at table. Nature adjusts her 
balances fine, very fine, Hubby dear.” 

“Wheel alongside, Morgans. You act kind 
of offish to-day. What the deuce has hap¬ 
pened 

“ Nothing has happened, Browne, only-” 

“ That’s a likely story, when you’ve been 
holding back ever since we started from Mar¬ 
seilles. Out with it, old boy. What’s in the 
wind ?” 

‘ Your wife certainly has some claim to your 
attentions. I don’t want to monopolize you 
altogether, you know.” 




The Riviera, 


”5 


Nonsense ; she’s been as uneasy as a fish 
out of water—wanted to get with Carl, you 
understand ? You must be stone blind not to 
see what’s> going on, Morgans.” 

“That’s exactly what I’ve been lecturing 
Carl about. I abhor this familiarity between 
them, and you’re an angel to stand it, Browne.” 

“ Haw, haw, haw, haw ! Think I ought to be 
jealous of that slip of a boy, eh ? Ho, ho, ho ! 
Why, Morgans, you don’t know Dubby Mont¬ 
gomery Browne, I guess. There isn’t another 
wife in the world like her. The devil! I’d as 
soon think of being jealous of the man in the 
moon as Carl. Let them enjoy themselves. It’s 
all right, I tell you.” 

“ I don’t believe you love your wife as a hus¬ 
band should, Mr. Browne, or you would have 
some pangs.” 



Wheels, 


116 

“ Dubby and I have a perfect understanding, 
Morgans. You’ve given me more pangs than 
she ever did.” 

‘‘ What are you talking about, Mr. Browne ?” 

“ Pangs, I believe that was the subject,” said 
Browne, biting his mustache, in a thoughtful 
way. 

“ How have I given you pangs ? Explain 
yourself,” said George, nervously. 

“ Another day, Morgans. There’s a matter of 
business we’d better settle about now. Shall 
we stop at Pension Suisse, as I suggested last 
night ?” 

“ As long as Carl and I have a front room 
overlooking the blue Mediterranean, that’s all 
we stipulate for. Other arrangements we gladly 
surrender to your riper judgment and wider 
experience, Browne.” 



The Riviera. 


117 


Hubby ! Hubby, dear ! Isn’t this a lovely 
row of palms we’re running under?’’ called 
Mrs. B., waving her hand over her head in child¬ 
ish enthusiasm. 

“ The place is quiet,” continued Browne, 
after nodding consent to Mrs. B., “ but as long 
as we’ve sent our trunks on to Naples, and must 
put in an appearance in knickerbockers, it may 
be more comfortable all around to put up there. 
When I was here four years ago, there wasn’t 
above a dozen stopping there, and they were 
mostly men. But it is a good, clean place, and 
first class, so what do we care ? Mrs. B. won’t 
kick, as long as she hasn’t her fine gowns here 
to display.” 

“ It will be greatly preferable to the more 
fashionable hotels, as we are circumstanced. 
The situation is good, I believe you said.” 



ii8 


Wheels, 


“ Fine, Morgans, couldn’t be better. Castle 
Rock looms up in the background, and about 
half way up the slope, there is the loveliest 
little garden with lemon, fig trees, and prickly 
pears, to say nothing of the dozen or more rose 
bowers, with pretty rustic seats scattered about. 
A pretty trellised balcony runs in front of the 
second-story windows, facing this garden, where 
one can pick flowers and fruit without the 
fatigue of climbing the steps from the ground 
entrance. The front of the hotel, or Pension 
Suisse, faces the Mediterranean, not fifty feet 
away. In point of situation, there’s nothing 
finer in Nice.” 



CHAPTER VI. 


POMPEII. 

That was a stroke of luck, our getting a 
sunrise start from Naples this morning. How 
under heavens we ever got through that solid 
mass of dirt, donkeys, and darned fools, with¬ 
out getting crushed, will remain a mystery 
to my dying day. Talk about ragamuffins 
turning the battle of Bannockburn, why the 
stiff odor from that street procession of beggars 
and scavengers, with the effluvium of the 
ground floors pouring in, would turn the Chi¬ 
cago river green with envy; and if all Naples 
should take a bath in the Mississippi, the allu- 

[119J 


120 


Wheels. 


vial deposit would make dry land a hundred 
miles to the north of New Orleans.” 

“ Strong statements, Browne,” said George 
Morgans, wheeling to the side of Browne, while 
Mrs. B. and Carl followed closely after. 

The party had lunched at Hdtel DiomMe on 
arriving from Naples, and were now on the main 
thoroughfare, leading to the exhumed city. 

Vesuvius was in eruption, and with the wind 
blowing from the northwe.st, a cloud of smoke 
and cinders made the scene realistic in the ex¬ 
treme, and brought vividly to mind that day of 
doom, when two thousand souls found a com¬ 
mon tomb beneath its burning scoria and ashes. 

“ Strong, well I should say weak, watery, as 
compared with the subject matter. I have al¬ 
ways thought Providence at fault in raining 



Pompeii, 


I2I 


destruction on this place, but if the Pompeiians 
were as dirty as the Neapolitans, it might have 
seemed a necessity for the All Wise to purify 
His realm by thus cremating them. A south¬ 
east wind may yet clean up Naples.” 

“ But to destroy those chaste and beautiful 
marbles of Pompeii. How are you-going to 
reconcile this loss with your optimistic philos¬ 
ophy, Browne ?” 

“ I have thought a good deal about that, 
Morgans ; but the very fact of their restoration 
is a plea for immortality ; sort of resurrection 
from the dead, as it were.” 

“ Quite in my line of reasoning, Browne. 
Now I believe when a sculptor carves an image, 
which he has created in his own thought, that 
there is born a soul to inhabit it^ and that is 



122 


Wheels. 


what appeals to us when we gaze upon the 
work of Art.” 

‘‘George believes the “ Tinted Venus ” story 
from cover to cover, but you can’t stuff me with 
any such fol-de-rol,” said Carl, laughing. 

“Well, I never thought much about the mat¬ 
ter, but yet it is true they have had to put a 
railing around the Venus de Milo and the Ve¬ 
nus de Medicis, to keep the men, and women, 
too, from hugging them, and that is a good ar¬ 
gument for your side, Morgans,” said Browne< 

“ For my part, I prefer images that have a 
little caloric and combustion in them, and yet 
any one can hardly help desiring to lift the au¬ 
burn veil from the bosom of Titian’s Magda¬ 
lene,” said Mrs. B. 

“ Why, Dubby, I didn’t know you had such 



Pompeii, 


123 


abnormal curiosity," exclaimed Brown, in as¬ 
tonishment. 

A woman without curiosity would be devoid 
of true instinct," responded George, in Mrs 
B.’s defense. 

‘‘ Thank you, Mr. Morgans, you must have 
been a student of woman, or, perhaps, were a 
woman in your former reincarnation, to speak 
so advisedly of the general characteristics of 
woman," said Mrs. B. 

Had I the vocabulary of a Shakespoke," 
said Browne, rising to such a pitch of enthusi¬ 
asm with the pressure of some mighty thought 
within him, that, as he turned suddenly 
about to address his companions, he did not see 
his wife, who crashed into him, both falling in 
inextricable confusion. George, also, closing 



124 


Wheels. 


in rapidly, fell upon the heap, and Carl closely 
following Mrs. B., crowned the ash-covered pile 
with all the beauty and grace of a nineteen-year- 
old girl in knickerbockers. 

As one after another emerged from their en¬ 
tanglement, taking account of bruises, as they 
flapped the dust from their bedraggled garments, 
Mrs. B. remarked, affectionately : 

“ Carlos, are you quite sure, dear one, that 
you are not injured ?” 

Browne, at the same time, was paying little 
delicate attentions to Morgans, which, in com¬ 
mon politeness, should have been tendered his 
wife ; but no jealousy or ill-feeling resulted from 
these misalliances. 

It was a happy company indeed that cycled 
into the “ voiceless city of a dead past,” on this 




Pompeii. 


125 


July morning. Nineteenth Century ^bikes’ 
running over lava pavements where heavy cart¬ 
wheels had worn deep ruts, before the world 
had known a Saviour ! 

Fortunate for us, Browne, that you’re able 
to direct us through these deserted streets. 
Guides are such super-officious, disagreeable 
things,” remarked Morgans. 

I spent a fortnight in this hole on a previ- 
ous visit to Italy, and as the western boom has 
not yet struck Pompeii, things are naturally 
about where I left them. Now this is the house 
of the rich merchant, Diomed, that Bulwer 
Lytton tells about.” 

Oh, Mr. Browne, where is the house of 
Glaucus, the poet ?” asked Carl. 

Poor Nydia, she was such a beautiful char* 



126 


Wheels. 


acter, loving as she did so silently and without 
return/’ sighed George. 

“ A good many in the same predicament, Mr. 
Morgans," replied Mrs. B., significantly. 

“ Ah, very true, Dubby ; you have the pene¬ 
tration of the psychologist," added Browne, 
looking sharply from under his shaggy eyebrows. 

“ I wonder whether other persons have been 
foolish enough to attempt cycling through these 
humpty-bumpty lanes?" said Mrs. B., quite 
breathlessly, as she dismounted, walking beside 
her wheel. 

“ I can’t say as to that, but the novelty is 
immense," rejoined Carl, taking a header into a 
pile of debris, as he finished speaking. 

Ha, ha, anything for novelty, Carl," laughed 
George, who running into a rut plunged head¬ 
long in like fashion. 



Pompeii. 


1 27 

'' Haw, haw, haw!” laughed Browne as he 
alighted from his wheel to assist Morgans to 
his feet.” Mean to laugh at you, but the idea 
of cycling in Pompeii, is enough to make the 
Sphinx giggle. Here we are at the House of 
the Tragic Poet, one of the most elegant little 
abodes in the city. Here is the threshold, 
where the dog in Mosaic, and the inscription 
‘ Cave Canem ’ that we saw in the Museum of 
Naples come from. At the end of this court is 
a shrine of the Lares, and these frescoes are 
the Greek gods, I believe.” 

“ Poor Nydia, how she must have suffered,” 
sighed George, looking about. 

I don’t think I would have jumped into the 
Mediterranean and let lone have it all her own 
sweet way with Glancus ; not for Joe ! Why 



128 


Wheels. 


didn’t Nydia have some grit about her; wait 
until leap year or something like that, and then 
try her luck. It’s time enough to commit 
suicide when the chap says nit. I wouldn’t 
give up beaten until I had had a flip at the dice, 
any way. A woman has just as good a right to 
tell her love as a man,” said Carl, bristling. 

“Thank you, Carlos dear. You are quite 
up-to-date in your sentiments as well as your 
cravats. I admire you very much, Carlos dear,” 
said Mrs. B., taking his arm as they walked 
beside their wheels toward the “ House of the 
Faun.” 

“ That shake of the head, together with the 
tone of voice and advanced ideas, reminded me 
deucedly of the ^ new woman.’ What do you 
think, Morgans?” 



Pompeii, 


129 


“ I think Carl is about the most foolish fel¬ 
low when he gets started on love. That sub¬ 
ject completely unbalances him ; makes a 
woman of him, so to speak. But in every other 
way he is quite as manly as one could desire,” 
replied George, in a nervous way. 

“ That last remark of George’s was a trump. 
Perhaps I am silly, but it’s all owing to my 
tender years. Mrs. B., you will make allow¬ 
ances, I am sure.” 

“ Any amount of them, Carlos dear. Try my 
generosity, I quite implore you.” 

Have a cigar, Morgans ? Take one, Carl ?” 
insisted Browne.' 

“ Thank you. I’m hot enough without smok¬ 
ing. Isn’t the heat something terrible ?” asked 
George, wiping the perspiration from his brow. 



130 


Wheels. 


“ Thanks, I may take a puff later, but just 
now something wet would be more in my line. 
Is there any water to be got about here ?’ ’ 
asked Carl. 

‘‘ Water in Pompeii! might as well look for 
iced tea in Hades. Here we are in the ‘ Tem¬ 
ple of Jupiter,’ and if the thermometer don’t 

stand at a hundred and ten, then I- Hello, 

there ! Say, you wine peddler, bring that demi¬ 
john over this way. Have a drink, Morgans ?’’ 

“ Your wife first, Browne,” objected Morgans. 

“ She can drink after Carl, it will taste 
sweeter. Go ahead, Morgans. Here, Carl, 
won’t you drink ?” 

“ But Mrs. B.—your wife,” remonstrated Carl. 

“ Dubby never gets dry ; she’s too fat.” 

“ Fayette is right, Carlos dear. I never take 




Pompeii. 


131 

my Lacrima Christi without sugar, you know. 
‘ Drink to me with thine eyes,’ as the poet hath 
said. That would be rather difficult, wouldn’t it, 
now ? So I say, drink to me with your rosy 
mouth, and look over the jug at me with your 
pretty eyes. That’s it, dear. Now I will 
drink sweet wine, where your lips have been, 
Carlos dear,” said Mrs. B., elevating the vessel 
with muscular agility, and pouring down the 
beverage at an alarming rate. 

“ Hold on Dubby, I say. I’m positively 
famishing,” said Browne, snatching the demi¬ 
john from his amiable sponse. 

“ Drink to our healths. Hubby dear,” said 
Mrs. B., smacking her lips. 

Long life to you, and may you never die 
for want of Capri wine,” said Browne, appeas¬ 
ing his thirst* generously. 



132 


Wheels, 


“ O-o-o-oh ! Ooo—o-o-o-oh !” screamed Carl, 
grabbing his knickerbockers and mounting a 
pedestal. 

“ Good heavens ! O-o-o-oh !” yelled George, 
vainly endeavoring to climb a Corinthian 
column broken off at least a foot above her 
head. 

‘‘ Mars, Venus, Mercury, and the rest of the 
planets, what in the devil’s up ?” 

“ Up! did you say, Mr. Browne ?” asked 
Carl, shaking one foot and then another, and 
dancing like a mad dervish ’on the crumbling 
pedestal. 

“ Oh ! There’s another ! E-e-e-e! Aren’t 
you frightened to death, Mrs. B ?” screamed 
George, binding her knickerbockers still closer 
about her slim ankles, and finally mounting a 
crumbling wall, with wonderful agility. 



Pompeii. 


133 


I won’t stay in this horrid old Pompeii 
another single minute. Oh, mercy ! see that 
wicked little green thing wiggling around 
there,” yelled Carl. 

“ It’s running up the pedestal. Catch you 
sure, Carl,” said Browne, doubling together 
with convulsions of laughter. 

“ There’s one after you too, Morgans,” ex¬ 
claimed Mrs. B., quite purple in the face by 
immoderate laughing. 

“ Oh, Hel-!” exclaimed George, dropping 

to the pavement, half dead with fright. Carl had 
likewise slipped from his high position, and was 
now holding his knickerbockers high above his 
knees, and treading about on tip-toe. 

Say, Morgans, you two act like women in a 
mouse fracas. And right here, 111 bet my bot- 




134 


Wheels, 


tom dollar, and all my Cripple Creek gold 
stock, that you’re girls. Now, own up. I’ll 
leave it to Dubby if any man on earth was ever 
known to act in this fashion. You’re girls, all 
right, and I know it,” said Browne, nodding his 
head wisely. 

Mrs. Browne was holding her fat sides, which 
had pains in them from her late convulsions, a 
look of intense amusement in her eyes. 

“ Well, I guess not, Mr. Browne,” said Carl, 
sticking his thumbs in his vest arm holes, and 
strutting up in quite pugnacious fashion. “ If 
you don’t stop twitting us of being girls, we 
part company, so there !” 

‘That’s what I say. Your insinuations are 
just dreadful; and if they can’t be stopped 
why our self respect will compel us to leav^ 



PompeiL 


135 


you. Of course we do enjoy your society very 
much, but you must know how very humiliat- 
mg- 

“There’s another lizard!” yelled the heart¬ 
less Mr. Browne, at which alarm both Morgans 
again mounted their pedestals, screaming 
wildly, at the same time giving away to a flood 
of tears. 

“ See, Dubby, the young men are actually 
crying. I swear I never saw men shed tears 
and sop them up in that deucedly pretty way 
before, did you ?” 

“ No use, girls, that settles it. You might as 
well own up, first as last,” said Mrs. B., coax- 
ingly. 

“Well, I don’t care; if we’re girls Dubby 
Browne’s a man, just the same, said Carl, 
sniffling. 




3^ 


Wheels. 


“ Of course he is. No woman on earth could 
stand still with all these horrid lizards darting 
about,” whined George, defiantly. 

“ Acknowledge the coin, do you, young 
ladies 7 Well, Dubby, you might as well pull 
off your wig then. Allow me to present Mr. 
James Montgomery, my law partner, from the 
beer city of America.” 

“ What, Milwaukee ?” asked George in aston¬ 
ishment. 

“Are you really a man, Mrs. B.?” asked Carl, 
in a pleased way. 

“ A man, and your lover, Carlos dear,” said 
Montgomery, prostrating himself at the foot of 
the pedestal on which Carl was standing. 

“ Call me Helena, or Caroline, please. But, 
dear, it is so sudden.” 



Pompeii, 


137 


“Yes, quite sudden, that is, the denouement— 
but this love has been ripening for weeks. End 
my terrible suspense by giving me the right to 
protect you from lizards, toads, mice, Browne 
there, and all other disagreeable and dangerous 
things, of whatever name or nature. Will you 
be my wife, Helena Caroline ?” 

“ Oh, Mr. Montgomery, give me time, a week 
or more to consider, I beg of you.” 

“ But, dear, it might be thought improper 
for us to travel together longer, unless we 
were engaged, you know. And then, Browne 
might-” 

“ Don’t worry about my getting into your 
light, Montgomery. Georgiana has promised 
to be my wife, as soon as we can be properly 
divorced. Dubby.” 




Wheels, 


13S 


“ Well, you’re a hustler in the matrimonial 
exchange, I must say,” said Montgomery. 

“ We’ll have a double wedding, George. 
Won’t that be glorious ?” exclaimed Helena. 

“ Oh, my, how that relieves my pent-up emo¬ 
tions !” said Montgomery, rising from his knees 
and opening his arms as though to embrace the 
object of his devotion. Come to my heart, my 
affianced bride.” 

“ But I haven’t consented yet,” stammered 
Helena. 

“ What’s that about double weddings, sister ?” 
asked Georgiana, leaning on the arm of Browne, 
quite as though they had been lovers for years. 

“ I’m going to jump, James,” said Helena, 
springing from the pedestal into Montgomery’s 


arms. 



Pompeii. 


139 


The party needed nothing further in the way 
of attractions to render them supremely happy, 
so after spending an hour or so longer in the 
ruins, they shipped their wheels, took the cars 
at Portici, and were soon whirling back to 
Naples. 



CHAPTER VII. 


HOTEL, VITTORIA. 

It may have been convenient for Proteus to 
assume whatever form or character he chose, 
but the young Morgans found it not a little 
perplexing to be suddenly annihilated and then 
emerge as butterflies with no chrysalis to mark 
the mysterious transition. 

The young ladies had gone into their broth¬ 
er’s house and come forth in male garments 
without comment ; and Montgomery had man¬ 
aged to elude suspicion in the disguise he had 
assumed ; but in a land of hotel registers, sus¬ 
picious porters, and glib-tongued cabbies, who 
[i 4 oj 


Hotel Vittoria. 


141 

always keep an introspective eye on the contents 
of their vehicles, it was not so easy. 

After leaving Pompeii our party had returned 
to Naples and were now quartered at Hotel Vit¬ 
toria. 

Seated upon a pretty balcony overlooking 
the Mediterranean, were Montgomery and Hel¬ 
ena, enjoying a quiet hour of courtship, Browne 
and Georgiana having gone for a stroll in the 
adjacent park. 

“ I never felt so thoroughly uncomfortable 
in my life, James. The idea of your having to 
look at your affianced wife in this kind of a 
boy’s rig. It makes me blush crimson with 
mortification,” remarked Helena, putting her 
hands to her cheeks and then brushing the 
short hair from her temples, in a dissatisfied 


way. 



142 


IV/iee/s. 


“ What do you think of me —a man accus¬ 
tomed to the free use of his limbs—dragging 
this abominable load of finery around for four 
blessed weeks? If I hadn’t fallen in company 
with you, and been too confoundedly head over 
ears in love to get away, I should have gotten 
into my proper habiliments on leaving ship¬ 
board. As to your appearance, there is not the 
slightest cause for you to feel uncomfortable. 
It is doubtful if I shall ever admire you more 
than at this moment, attired as you are in these 
very becoming knickerbockers. I can’t say that 
I like to see you in regulation suit, but it may 
have to be borne a day or two longer—for 
dress appearance—until we can turn ourselves, 
as it were.” 

“ Not if I can manage any way under heavens 
to get out of it,” said Helena. 



Hotel Vittoria. 


143 


“ That’s the trouble, how^ the disguise is to be 
thrown off. Now, if you were my size we 
might change garments ; but that’s not to be 
thought of, when I tip the beam at a hundred 
and eighty, and you at a hundred and twenty- 
five. No, that scheme won’t work,” replied 
Mont'^ornery, kissing Helena’s hand, and then 
placing his arm about her waist. 

“ It’s so foolish, feeling like a girl and yet 
looking like a fellow, especially when you pet 
me, James.” 

Foolish, well-! A girl may feel a little 

embarrassed and abnormal in men’s clothing, 
but a man in petticoats is the ‘ abomination of 
abominations.’ Helena, my darling, I feel like 
crawling every time I approach you, a very 
worm in your presence.” 




144 


Wheels. 


“ Dearest, don’t talk of worms, I’m as ’fraid 
as death of them,” remonstrated Helena. 

Precious, no. We will leave present condi¬ 
tions and look only upon the flower-strewn path¬ 
ways ahead. Can you not see, my angel, how 
everything we touch will be changed, Midas 
like, into pure, unalloyed bliss? We’re happy 
now, my sweetheart, but these irrepressible 
sleeves are a blasted nuisance,” said Montgom- 
ery, giving them a decided thrust of disrespect 
as he spoke. 

“ You’re not starving now, are you, James ? 
You know how you used to talk to me when 
you were Dubby Browne ? ’ said Helena, smil¬ 
ing. 

“ There was more truth in my statements 
about that time than you suspected, my dear. 



Hotel Vzttoria, 


145 


The fact is I have loved you from the first mo¬ 
ment of our acquaintance.” 

“And I have loved you, James; but, of 
course, thinking you were a woman, and believ 
ing you thought me to be a fellow, has mixed 
me up horribly. Even now, 1 am only half 
persuaded that you belong soul and body to 
me, instead of Browne! How I wish it were 
dark, and you had your coat on instead 
of-” 

“And you had your coat off, Helena.” 

“ What ! in my shirt-sleeves ? Please remem¬ 
ber that I am not a man, James. Mercy^ 
George, how you frightened me!” said Helena, 
springing away from her lover, at the entrance 
of her sister and Browne. 

“Sorry to have disturbed your tete-a-tete, 
sister, but-” began George, 




146 


Wheels, 


“ Montgomery, old pard, late wife of my 
bosom, what do you say to getting out of here 
in the morning? Fm sick of Naples.” 

“ And Fm nauseated of petticoats, Browne. 
If you can offer any suggestion for getting out 
of these, Fm right in it, at any cost.” 

“ That’s the point, old fellow,” began 
Browne. 

“ Fayette and I have it all arranged,” inter¬ 
rupted Georgiana. “ We are to leave on our 
cycles, and lose our identity somewhere between 
here and Paris. We can carry our bicycle skirts 
in our knapsacks, Helena (fortunate we brought 
them, wasn’t it ?), and make the necessary addi¬ 
tions, without the slightest difficulty.” 

“ Part our hair in the middle, and tilt our 
caps a little to one side. We can do the girl 



Hotel Vittoria, 


147 


act all right, because we’re right there, you 
know. But how’s this ? I thought we were 
going to Rome, Florence, and dear, delightful 
Venice,” pouted Helena. 

“ We can’t risk the danger of Roman fever 
at this stage of the game,” dryly remarked 
Browne. 

“ Or being lost in the catacombs for an in¬ 
definite period. I say, let’s all get married in 
Paris, and then spend the remaining two months 
of our allotted time in a honeymoon journey. 
How’s that for a programme, Browne ?” asked 
Montgomery, greatly excited. 

I thought of that long ago, but Georgiana 
will not give her consent to the arrangement. 
She quite insists that the wedding must take 
place at her brother’s in Chicago. Farther than 



/ Vhe els. 


148 

this, she stipulates that we must put up at dif¬ 
ferent hotels while in Paris.” 

“ The devil she does ! I beg your pardon, 
ladies, but the idea seems so utterly absurd, 
after traveling and chumming together for a 
whole month,” remarked Montgomery. 

“ Now, George, don’t be disagreeable and 
spoil everything by your proper notions ; we 
can’t finish our proposed trip in any other way 
than by getting married, and why not do it, I 
say ? I’m in no mood for going back yet,” ex¬ 
postulated Helena, getting very red in the 
face. 

“ That’s not to be thought of, Helena. 
Hearts and hands are ours to confer, but when 
it comes to having the bonds of matrimony sol¬ 
emnized, Brother Charles and Sister Blanche 



Hotel Vittoria, 


149 


must stand for us in place of our father and 
mother. We can purchase our trousseau in 
Paris, it is quite the proper thing for us to do, 
but the wedding must take place in Chicago.” 

“ I guess you’re right about having brother 
give us away, but Chicago’s nothing to do with 
it. Send for Charles and Blanche to come 
here, that’s the thing to do, George.” 

“You’re just right, my love. Cable them to 
meet us in Paris,” said Montgomery. 

“Two weeks will give them abundance of 
time to get here. Cable them by all means,” in¬ 
sisted Browne. 

“ Brother Charles knows nothing whatever of 
our escapade, and I do not intend he ever 
shall; the right and proper thing for us to do, 
is to return to America at once. Still if you 



Wheels, 


150 

insist on finishing our European trip, we will 
part company with the gentlemen-” 

“ That’s far enough, George, I don’t intend to 
give up James for any old ‘ Coliseum,’ or 
‘ Bridge of Sighs,’ either. ‘ Where thou goest 
I will go ; and where thou stayest, I will stay ; 
and where thou art buried-ed-est there will I be 
buried,’ ha, ha ! I got that out of a Fortune¬ 
telling book, but they’re my sentiments James, 
if I did make a mix of it,” said Helena, taking 
Montgomery’s hands, that were extended in 
her direction. 

“ By the way, Montgomery, when are you 
going to get that divorce ? I swear, I don’t 
want you dragging around as my wife much 
longer,” remarked Browne, in assumed resent¬ 


ment. 




llotel Vittoria, 


151 

“ I shall don male apparel in the morning, 
slip on my woman’s rig until I get out of 
Naples, and then fling femininity to the winds 
forevermore. I shall jump six feet in my 
saddle when the flummery goes overboard. 
Thus will I be , divorced from petticoats, and 
the common name of Browne, at one and the 
same time,” said Montgomery, waving his fat, 
ring-laden hand, contemptuously. 

I think Browne, with an e, quite an elegant 
name, Mr. Montgomery,” retorted Georgiana. 

^‘You’re welcome to it. Miss Morgan, but I 
say, if you have a son, don’t call him John of 
Ossowottomie Browne, please,” suggested 
Montgomery. 

I think it far more distingu^ than Dubby 
Browne, but it’s all a matter of taste, I sup¬ 
pose,” said Georgiana, laughing. 



152 


W/ieels, 


Stop quarreling with George, and talk to 
me, James. Now when we get to Paris, and 
have on our own clothes, won’t we be supremely 
happy ?” asked Helena, in a half whisper. 

“ We should be, darling, if we could only be 
married right away ; but if we have to abide by 
the strict regime of your sister’s code of morals, 
we shall be little short of miserable, I fear. 
Why is it necessary for you to be governed by 
her ideas regarding our nuptials ? We can 
slip our heads into the noose, and that will 
legalize the whole quartette.” 

“ Here’s a kiss for that logic, old fellow,” said 
Helena, lifting her mouth coaxingly. 

“ What’s going on over there ?” asked Browne, 
turning. 

‘‘ We’ve got it arranged so that we can finish 



Hotel Vittoria, 


153 


our trip together in a perfectly legitimate 
way,” said Montgomery, yawning. 

“ How’s that, James ?” asked Browne. 

“ Helena and I are going to get married, and 
then chaperon you and Georgiana. Wouldn’t 
that be eminently proper, hey ?” 

“ Capital, Montgomery. That’s a go, I say. 
But what says my amiable spouse, that is to 
be ?” asked Browne. 

“ Oh, give us a starter, George ; don’t be 
mean now,” said Helena. 

“Well, I guess not. You will be married 
when we are, and not before, Helena.” 

“ Don’t be too awfully sure of that, George. 
When I get into my proper garments again, 
and really begin to feel that I am James 
Montgomery’s betrothed wife, there’s no ac¬ 
counting for what I may do. Is there, dearie 1 



154 


iVkeeis. 


I should say not, my queen. Wouldn’t it 
be delightful to spend our honeymoon in 
Venice, my angel?” asked Montgomery. 

Perfectly lovely, glorious, divine, I say. 
Now if we should be married in Chicago, we’d 
have to go to old Niagara Falls, or else have a 
water trip to Mackinac, put up at the Grand, 
and buy a lot of those old baskets and Indian 
relics. I’ve got more than a bushel now.” 

“Of course we would dearest, but Helena,” 
began Montgomery. 

“ Oh, you dear adorable, you do make me so 
supremely happy. The atmosphere of Venice 
is full of love, is it not so, James ?” asked Helena, 
looking into Montgomery’s eyes. 

“ If we don’t find perfect, unadulterated bliss 
in Venice we’ll go to the Lake of Como and buy 
a villa, dearest.” 



Hotel Vittoria. 


155 


“ Will we, James ? Oh, that will be heavenly,” 
sighed Helena, sinking into her lover s arms, 
and then springing up in a dissatisfied way. 

“What is it, my angel?” asked Montgom¬ 
ery. 

“ Oh, that old dress. It’s brought me down 
from the seventh heaven about a dozen times. 
I shall be so glad when you get your coat on, 
James, then I will be absolutely sure that I am 
not going to marry a woman. We will be 
married in Paris; I don’t care what George 
says,” said Helena, decidedly. 

“ You could get a suitable dress between 
here and Paris, couldn’t you ? As for me. I’m 
all prepared to be married any time. Browne, 
there, has been carting my trunk around for his 
ever since we started. I shall come into posses¬ 
sion of my half dozen suits when we get to Paris.’ 




Wheels, 


156 

George and I have each a handsome tailor 
gown with hats to match, and the very swellest 
of evening dresses, our jewels, and everything 
we shall need. Of course we had to come pre¬ 
pared for emergencies, for we couldn’t tell what 
minute our sins would find us out.” 

“ How fortunate. Fate has certainly pre¬ 
arranged everything for us. All we have to do 
is to comply, and won’t we comply, my angel ? 
Won’t we ?” 

“You will have to take back what you said 
about liking me best in knickerbockers, for I 
shall be perfectly irresistible in pink satin and 
pearls for our coming out,” remarked Helena. 

“ I never felt the piquancy, and poignancy of 
that expression before. ‘ Our coming out,’ yes, 
out of petticoats and pant- I won’t say it. 




Hotel Vittoria, 


157 


dear, but the significance is really quite striking. 
As for knickerbockers, I should admire you, 
my precious, if you hadn’t anything—I mean, in 
anything. Now pearls would be just lovely on 
your pink skin, I mean on pink satin. Yes, 
pearls and pink satin would be very becoming, 
and bewitching too, Helena.” 

“ You’d better straighten that out, old fellow. 
I’ve been awfully clip, I know, and have had to 
use slang, and smoke cigarettes to carry out my 
part, but when I change my coat, I hope to 
grace, instead of disgrace, the position you 
have given me.” 

You certainly cannot be more anxious to 
demonstrate yourself the true lady than .1 am 
to show myself a man of honor, Helena,” said 
Montgomery. 



Wheels, 


158 


“ I overheard that remark, Mr. Montgomery. 
The wonder is that both you and Fayette do 
not abhor us for the unwomanly deception we 
have been practising upon you ; but I assure 
you, it all originated in our desire for novelty 
and a good time,” said Georgiana. 

“ Why, if Helena hadn’t been the most 
decorous young lady in the -world, we should 
have been out and out lovers two weeks ago, 
even though I was a much married woman,” 
remarked Montgomery. 

“ And Georgiana would have eloped with a 
mis-mated benedict, if she had followed the 
dictates of her heart, instead of her sense 
of propriety. Wouldn’t you, dear.?” asked 
Browne. 


“ A man eloping with a man. What are you 



Hotel Vittoria, 


159 


talking about, Fayette Browne?” asked Georg- 
iana in astonishment. 

Ha, ha, ha ! Why, we knew you two were 

girls when we met you on shipboard, but Fll 

admit, we didn’t expect to find our wives in 

* 

this disguise,” said Browne. 

“ Oh, you terrible man to say that,” said 
Georgiana, putting her handkerchief to her 
eyes, to check the flow of vexatious tears. 

“ Don’t you believe it, George, they never 
knew we were girls. If they did, and have al¬ 
lowed the matter to go on this far, I will never 
speak to either of them again, so there !” said 
Helena, jumping up, and stamping her foot 
angrily. 

“ But, dear, there was nothing wrong,” began 
Montgomery, striving to appease her. 



i6o 


Wheels, 


“ Nothing wrong ! Why-j everything we have 
said or done since we left Kansas City is just 
diabolical. Traveling with you two fellows 
when we supposed you were man and wife, and 
we were safe under your protection. I shall 
die of shame, I know I shall. Boo, hoo, hoo!” 

‘‘ But, Helena, haven’t we been perfectly hon¬ 
orable in every way ?” asked Montgomery, 
anxiously. 

“ Oh, yes, you’ve been perfectly lovely, but, 
dear! dear! the terrible, terrible disgrace,” said 
Helena, still weeping. 

“ We can never show our heads in Kansas 
City again, Helena,” moaned Georgiana, sob¬ 
bing convulsively on Fayette’s shoulder. 

“ That is an argument for our being married 
in Paris, my beloved,” pleaded Browne. 



Hotel Vittoria, 


i6i 


“ One can do anything in Chicago they can in 
Paris, Fayette, and I must see Brother Charles 
before I do another wicked thing. He shall 
never know how it all came about, though. 
Dear, dear! How unfortunate, Helena, that 
we ever planned this disgraceful escapade,” 
said Georgiana, sadly. 

“ Why, we never would have met James and 
Mr. Browne if we hadn’t, George. It’s a hor¬ 
rible thing, but, oh, James,” exclaimed Helena, 
rushing into Montgomery’s open arms. 

“ When we are married, we will all go to Mil¬ 
waukee to live, and who will be the wiser for 
our romance? You probably didn’t make a 
public announcement of your change to male 
attire, Helena,” said Montgomery. 

“ Wasn’t that fortunate, George ? No one in 



i 62 


tV/iee/s. 


the wide world knows it, but Sister Blanche. 
Dear Blanche ! how I wish she could only see 
how perfectly happy I am.” 

“ Happy, my angel ? I thought you were in 
the valley of despair a moment ago !” said 
Montgomery, lifting his lovely burden from his 
chest, and looking into her moist, blue eyes. 

“ I thought so too, but I’m not. As long as 
you love and respect me, that’s enough. My 
cup of happiness is running over, that is, it will 
be, when you get on your coat—and say, James, 
can’t you raise a mustache ? It would seem so 
much more natural, you know,” observed 
Helena. 

What do you know about mustaches, 
Helena ?” asked Montgomery, hurriedly. 

Don’t know anything—never came in my 





Hotel Vittoria. 


163 


way, except brother’s. Probably there’s where 
I got the idea,” said Helena, laughing. 

‘‘ All right, dear, any little thing like that 
sha’n’t come between our happiness, that is, it 

shall come between our hap- Now, how 

am I going to get that straightened out, dear ?” 
said Montgomery, kissing her. 

“ ‘ Everything cometh to him who waiteth,’ or 
something like that'—thay, don’t that make me 
thound tongue tied ? ha, ha ! Let’s go out and 
take a promenade, James. I can’t tell for the 
life of me whether I’m on earth or in the moon. 
That was awfully rough on George and I, 
your passing yourselves off as married folks. I 
can’t get over it, somehow,” said Helena. 

“The air will clear your brain, dear. Per¬ 
haps your sister and Browne will ac 





164 


Wheels, 


“ Don’t ask them, James,” whispered Helena. 

“ You’re very kind, Mr. Montgomery, but as 
we have so recently enjoyed an outing, I think 
we would prefer to sit here and gaze,” began 
Georgiana. 

“ Gaze, ha, ha, ha! That’s very good, 
George,” remarked Helena, as she passed with 
Montgomery into the dimly-lighted corridor, 
laughing merrily as she went. 



CHAPTER VIII. 


LA BELLE PARIS. 

** Fine hotel this,” said Browne, sauntering 
into the drawing-room of the Continental, a 
fawn-colored top-coat thrown carelessly over 
his arm, and a polished silk hat held stiffly in 
his tan-gloved hand. 

“ D-d queer, that we’ve got to be shoved 

out of this superb hostelry, to humor the caprice 
of a foolish little woman,” remarked Montgom¬ 
ery, dropping his gloves in his high hat, and 
depositing them with his overcoat and cane on 

a side table, while he drew himself up to his 

[165J 



Wheels, 


166 

full height, and surveyed his elegant personality 
in the mirror opposite. 

“ Miss Morgan is exactly right. I honor the 
stand she has taken in every particular,” re¬ 
torted Browne, decisively, jerking off his gloves, 
and placing them with his hat and coat on the 
table beside Montgomery’s. 

“ Pretty nice little girls, I agree with you, 
Browne. But I say, wasn’t it deuced mean for 
us to impose on those poor innocents. I shall 
never forgive myself for doing it.” 

“ They thought they were playing it on us 
pretty slick. An awfully good joke on them, 
but, as you say, it rather reflects on our honor 
as gentlemen. Still it’s all right now, as it has 
turned out,” said Browne, gazing on a picture 
indifferently. 



La Belle Paris, 


167 


“ Jehosophat! What a glorious privilege it 
is to be a man. Talk about fire in Hades, 
Browne, that isn’t in it compared with putting 
petticoats on a man and compelling him to wear 
them through all eternity. I feel as though I 
was just born in another body, I swear,” said 
Montgomery, striking his breast emphatically. 

“ Oh, come off, Montgomery, you act posi¬ 
tively childish over that claw-hammer and wide 
expanse of shirt front. One would think you 

were in your first panties-” 

“ I swan, Browne, that’s exactly how I do 
feel. There are pants, and there are panties, 
Browne ; but I say, give me pants, or give me 
rough on rats, ha, ha, ha !” 

Ha, ha ! Great spree we’ve had, but mar¬ 
ried life will sober us up in great shape. By 




Wheels, 


168 


the way, isn’t it about time the ladies were 
here ?” asked Browne. 

“ Hope they will give us a little time to visit 
with them before the opera ; sort of have a 
chance to show off, as it were,” said Montgom¬ 
ery, consulting the mirror again. 

“We are to look upon our prospective wives 
in dresses, I believe ?” asked Browne. 

“ Yes, and Helena is going to look upon her 
husband, instead of Dubby Browne; that’s 
where I’m interested. Such a fool as I’ve 
made of myself, the devil!” said Montgomery, 
straightening his cravat. 

“ Fine grand piano, this. What do you say 
to giving us a song while we’re waiting, Jim ?” 

“ All right, you play the accompaniment and 
111 sing; haven’t dared to open my baritone 



La Belle Paris. 


169 


chest since we struck Europe. What shall it 
be, Browne ?” 

“ Give us ‘ The Ship I Love,’ that’s a good one 
for a starter.” 

Browne struck the chords boldly, and soon 
the parlors and connecting corridors were filled 
with the stirring measures of this popular song. 
Montgomery was just finishing with the chorus 
“ I’ve no one to love me,” when Helena and 
Georgiana, with opera cloaks thrown over their 
arms, burst into the room. 

“ Seems to me you don’t put the soul into 
that strain the way you used to. What’s the 
matter, waist band too tight ?” asked Browne, 
without looking up. 

Fact is, the darned thing ain’t true. I have 
got some one to love me. The last time I sung 



170 


Wheels. 


that thing, the sentiment was just immense, now 
it’s as flat as uncorked champagne,” said Mont¬ 
gomery, turning away. 

Oh, my adorable ! My precious man lover ! 
Isn’t he handsome ?” said Helena, under her 
breath, as she beheld her lover. 

“ Good-evening to you, gentlemen,” said 
Georgiana, bowing low. 

For a moment Montgomery seemed stunned, 
and then falling upon his knees he looked up 
into Helena’s face, as though a seraph had fallen 
from the clouds. 

Browne took Georgiana’s hand in both of his, 
then lifting it gently to his lips, pressed it fer¬ 
vently. 

My beloved,” he said, you are the most 
beautiful woman I ever saw. I cannot believe 
my senses that you are truly mine.” 



La Belle Paris, 171 

Montgomery, on the other hand, was acting 
very foolishly. So great a change had taken 
place in their appearance, that he deemed it 
necessary that the momentous question should 
again be popped, and so he was pleading in 
quite eloquent language. 

“ Oh, Miss Morgan ! Oh, Helena! My dar¬ 
ling! My angel!” when Browne turning sud¬ 
denly, and being struck with the comicality of 
the situation, questioned playfully : 

“ Would you believe your eyes that this gi¬ 
gantic fraud was ever my late wife. Dubby ?” 

Montgomery was on his feet in an instant, 
and with a show of resentment snatched a revol¬ 
ver from his back pocket, and towering above 
Browne, hissed between his half-shut teeth : 

The inferior partner of my late miseries 



Wheels, 


172 

forgets that in being divorced from his plebian 
name, I am no longer subject to his unlawful 
dynasty. Therefore, hear me, this pistol is my 
talisman. Woe unto him who crosses me in love, 
or calls me Dubby Browne, world without end.” 

“ Oh, dearest, don’t shoot ! Put away that 
ugly thing ! I will never dare to embrace you in 
this wide world if you carry that wicked revol¬ 
ver about you —murder !” screamed Helena, as 
Montgomery endeavored to approach her. 

‘‘ That settles it, then ! Take the evil weapon, 
Browne, I’ve no more use for it! Come to my 
arms, my angel! Oh, the bliss.” 

“ Fayette, darling one, don’t take it, I beg of 
you ! The horrible thing! No, dear, you 
sha’n’t touch me —go ’way ! I’ll never kiss you 




La Belle Paris. 


73 


“ Enough said. I surrender the deadly de¬ 
stroyer of my happiness ! Montgomery, receive 
thine own !” said Browne, handing the revolver. 

“ Avaunt! Do you not see my hands are 
completely tied ? Love has slain the mon¬ 
ster within me ; henceforth my mission is connu¬ 
bial felicity—first, last, and all the while !” said 
Montgomery, striking the pistol from Browne’s 
hand, which goes off with a startling report. 
Both young ladies mount tables, and scream at 
the top of their voices. 

“Oh, James! Georgiana! Darling! Heav¬ 
ens and earth ! Fire, fire, fire !” 

“ Fayette, my adored one ! Helena, oh, oh ! 
Murder, murder, murder !” 

“ Thunder !” growled Montgomery, holding 
the calf of his leg as though wounded, and limp¬ 
ing about. 



174 


Wheels. 


“ Oh, my head !” groaned Browne, throwing 
himself on a sofa, as though in great distress. 

‘‘My precious one! Jamesey! My soul! 
My life ! Are you really killed ?” asked Helena, 
leaping from the table and prostrating herself 
before her lover, weeping violently. 

“ Fayette ! Fayette !” was all that Georgi- 
ana could say, as she threw herself on the sofa 
beside Browne and fainted dead away. 

“ Water, water ! A fan ! Ring the bell! 
Oh, my God! I have killed her,” breathlessly 
exclaimed Browne, as he lifted the prostrate 
form, fanning her with his handkerchief. 

Montgomery jerked the bell cord, while Hel¬ 
ena, snatching a large feather fan from her 
opera cloak pocket, rushed to her sister, fanning 
her vigorously. 



La Belle Paris. 


1/5 


Open your eyes, Georgiana, love. I was 
only feigning that I was hurt. Forgive me, 
dearest. Forgive me, I pray,” moaned Browne. 

“ Don’t you faint, Helena. I was just fool¬ 
ing, too. Don’t faint, dear,” exclaimed Mont¬ 
gomery, anxiously. 

“You wretch! I wasn’t crying, either, so 
there, the joke is on yourself, ha, ha 1 Poor 
sister, she took it quite seriously,” said Helena, 
kissing Georgiana, as she lay motionless, yet 
with returning color in her cheeks. 

“ The joke is on you all, except me,” said 
Georgiana, opening her eyes. “ I just wanted 
to know how Fayette would act if I were dying, 
ha, ha ! I would have carried the ruse farther, 
but was in mortal terror of that water you 
ordered being dashed over my party gown.” 



Wheels. 


176 

Georgiana now sprang lightly to her feet, 
while the others looked upon her with astonish¬ 
ment. 

“ 0-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh !” said Helena, Montgom¬ 
ery and Browne in the same breath, each on a 
different pitch, with crescendo and diminuendo 
corresponding to the varied emotions. 

Play a two-step, George, I’m dying for a 
dance with my gay deceiver to make sure that 
he hasn’t a ball in his poor, dear leg. Tra-la- 
la-la ! That’s a good one,” said Helena, whirl¬ 
ing about in Montgomerv’s arms to the tune of 
the “ Honeymoon.” 

“ You frightened me nearly to death, darling,” 
said Browne, bending tenderly over Georgiana 
as she was playing. 

“ It was too bad, but I knew you were play- 



La Belle Paris. 


177 


ing it on me, and I had to get even. But, 
really, I wanted to test your love a little bit. I 
am just dying to have you adore-” 

Georgiana was interrupted by the appearance 
of the waiter who had been summoned. 

“ Bring champagne for four,” ordered 
Browne. 

Make it six,” said Montgomery, wiping the 
perspiration from his brow as he led Helena to 
a seat. 

“ You needn’t sit down, Helena, you’ve got 
to play while Fayette and I have a waltz.” 

“ What do you want, George .?” asked Helena, 
as she seated herself at the piano. 

“ Give us a ‘ Blue Danube,’ no waltzes like 
those to put wings on a pair,” said Browne, 
clasping Georgiana to his breast. 




I7S 


Wheels. 


“ Sorry you haven’t music for me to turn. I 
love to feel that I am of service to you, my 
angel,” said Montgomery, drawing a seat near 
and fanning quite languidly. 

“ Put a little more enthusiasm into that fan, 
then, I’m positively melting,” said Helena, as 
she dashed the keyboard right and left in her 
own vigorous style. 

“ Is there a gentleman present by the name 
of George Morgans?” asked the bearer of a 
tray, who suddenly appeared in the back¬ 
ground. 

“ Miss Georgiana Morgan is here, what have 
you ?” asked Browne, as he halted in the waltz 
to interview the intruder. 

“ Hand it tome, I am called George Morgans. 
What can it mean said Georgiana, taking the 



La Belle Paris. 


179 


card in her trembling fingers. “ Oh, Helena, 
Brother Charles is in waiting ! Good Heavens, 
what are we to do ? Tell him to come up to 
the parlor, waiter. Fayette, you must go this 
minute. What are you standing there for ?” 
asked Georgiana, of the stupid beare'r of the 
tray. 

“ I think that card is for a gentleman, Miss. 
That’s how I heard it,” said the waiter, stam¬ 
mering. 

“ Get along, and deliver the young lady’s 
message, you wretch,” said Browne, taking a 
rapid stride in his direction. 

“ Oh, Georgiana, whatever are we going to 
do ? Charles has got on to the racket, and he 
is pursuing us. You know what a fearful tem¬ 
per he has. Murder ! but we’ll catch it ! Run, 



i8o 


Wheels, 


James, I wouldn’t have him find us here with 
you fellows for the world. Hurry up, James, 
go somewhere or hide yourself, I beg of you !” 
exclaimed Helena, rushing up and down the 
room as though distracted. 

“ Do not allow yourself to become so excited, 
my dear,” said Browne to Georgiana. 

“ Listen to me, Helena,” remonstrated Mont¬ 
gomery. 

“ Here is your hat and coat, Fayette, go, I 
beseech of you,” said Georgiana, wringing her 
hands. 

“Your cane, James ; here, take your gloves, 
they will give us dead away—a kiss ? yes, dear, 
but fly now if you would save us from utter 
ruin,” said Helena, pushing him out. 

“ This brother must be a terror,” exclaimed 
Montgomery, going. 



La Belle Paris. 


i8i 


“ I used to know a Charles,” began Browne, 
as he was vanishing. 

“ Fm so glad they’re out of the way,” said 
Georgiana, sinking in a chair. 

“Oh, brace up, George, he can’t more than 
kill us—do his worst,” said Helena. 

“ This is the climax of our wrong-doing, 
Helena,—‘ Be sure your sins will find you out,’ 
that adage ought to be tacked to the ten com¬ 
mandments. Brother Charles will utterly de¬ 
stroy us with one of his frightful scowls. Oh, 
dear, oh, dear !” said Georgiana, walking up and 
down the room. 

“ He’s a terror to snakes, when he’s mad, 
that’s sure; but come on, Macduff, Fm ready 
to be skinned alive, or burned at the stake, 
said Helena, doubling her fists defiantly. 



Wheels. 


A lifting of the heavy portieres at the side 
ejitrance, and Charles Morgan entered. 

“ Dear Charles, how lovely !” exclaimed Hel¬ 
ena, rushing toward her brother and clasping 
him about the neck as she stood at his back. 

“ Forgive us, oh, forgive us, brother,” was 
all that Georgiana could say, as she fell half- 
fainting in his arms. 

‘‘ What the dickens is the matter ? You girls 

act-” began Charles, choking for a full 

breath in Helena’s mad embrace. 

“ Are you angry, Charles ? Do you feel like 
thrashing George and I within an inch of our 
lives? Won’t you kill us ? Tell me, quick, or 
I’ll choke you half to death,” said Helena, con¬ 
vulsively. 

“ Blanche must have been treacherous—must 




Let Belle Paris, 


183 

have told. Oh—ah ; I feel so prostrated !” said 
Georgiana, sinking a dead weight in her broth¬ 
er’s arms. 

“ Brace up, Georgiana. Loosen your hold 
on my neck, Helena. Zounds ! would you 
choke a fellow to death ? Hands off, I say,” 
said Charles, dropping Georgiana in a chair and 
shaking himself from Helena’s arms. 

“ Don’t scold, Charles, we just did it for fun,” 
said Helena, coaxingly. 

“Just for a little novelty brother,” sighed 
Georgiana. 

“ Hold on, now, and let me get a word in 
somewheres. I’m not angry. What are you 
girls talking about? Blanche was true blue, 
but the tailor’s bill, that was the Williams, or vil¬ 
lain, rather, of this play. Returning from the 



184 


Wheels. 


ranch, about two weeks after you left, I 
stepped into the shop to order my spring suit, 
when an itemized bill was presented to me. I 
asked for an explanation, and was informed 
that my wife had been running my credit for 
four suits of clothes, two of these dress suits at 
seventy-five dollars apiece, for relatives of hers, 
living out of the city. I was mad in a minute, 
and rushing home pounced upon poor Blanche, 
like a roaring lion. She was terribly confused 
but refused to explain, saying she had the 
money, and would pay for the suits at the ex¬ 
piration of thirty days, as agreed. 

“I raved and tore around, threatening to 
bring the matter into court, when the poor girl, 
fearing a public expose, had to tell me all about 
the matter. At first I was absolutely par- 



La Belle Paris. 


185 


alyzed, to think that my sisters would concoct 
such a diabolical scheme, but on coming to my¬ 
self, decided that Blanche and I would put our 
wheels aboard an Atlantic Broadsider and join 
you. We left Roy with his old nurse, and here 
we are in Paris !” 

“ Blanche here with you !” said both Georg- 
iana and Helena, in surprise. 

“ Right here in the Continental, and getting 
dressed for the opera, this minute. But I say, 
what are you doing in girls’ clothes ? Blanche 
has her male fixings along, and was going to 
be a man, after we got started on our tour. Of 
course we didn’t know where we should come 
across you. Explain yourselves, haven’t you 
been passing as two fellows ?” 

“ Come and sit down, Charles, and I will tell 



i86 


Wheels. 


you,” said Georgiana, leading the way to the 
sofa. 

“ Let me take your hat, brother,” said Helena, 
swinging his hand, with free arm movement, as 
they walked along. 

“ In the first place,” began Georgiana, seating 
herself beside her brother, we met a lovely 
gentleman and his wife on the steamer, who 
were going to make a tour of Europe on their 
wheels, the same as we. They took a decided 
fancy to Helena and I, and invited us to join 
them, and we, thinking of their protection, 
quite naturally accepted-” 

“ Quite naturally. A good thing,” remarked 
Charles. 

“ They were just lovely people, and we didn’t 
know-” began Helena, who had seated her¬ 

self on a hassock at their feet. 





La Belle Paris. 


187 


“ Now you keep still, Helena. I will tell 
Charles,” said Georgiana, anxiously. 

“ What was it you didn’t know. Chick ? 
That’s the knob of the whole teapot. I’ll war¬ 
rant you,” said Charles. 

You’re not far astray, but George is telling 
the story,” said Helena. 

As I was saying, we consented, and started 
to wheel right here in Paris. From the first 

Mrs. James Montgomery Fayette Browne-” 

“Glory! What a name!” exclaimed 
Charles. 

“ Showed a decided liking for Helena, or 

Carl, as we called him-” 

“ And Georgiana was just as desperately in 
love with Mr. Browne,” interrupted Plelena. 

“ Horrible ! Can’t account for such irregu¬ 
larities,” demurred Charles. 




i88 


Wheels, 


“ It wasn’t irregular. Don’t get angry, 
brother, it all comes out just fine,” explained 
Helena. 

“ Well, things kept going on until one day 
we were all in Pompeii, doing the ruins, you 
know,” continued Georgiana. 

‘‘And the funniest thing, brother. Just 
those frightful little lizards did the whole busi¬ 
ness,” said Helena. 

“ Did what ? Hurry up, Georgiana. Helena 
will get there first, if you don’t hustle.” 

“ I think she’s awfully mean. Well, we were 
in the ‘ Temple of Jupiter 'when the denouement 
came. And just because of those dirty little 
green lizards. Those two fellows found out we 
were girls.” 

“ Two fellows! I thought it was a man and 
his wife,” said Charles, angrily. 



La Belle Paris, 


189 


“ We thought so too, but they were deceiv¬ 
ing us. Mrs. Browne was a man.” 

“ The devil she was ! That put you in a nice 
fix, I should say. So you two girls traveled 
around with these two men. Heavens and 
earth ! How long ? It won’t be well for their 
mutton if I find them, the villains!” said 
Charles, purple with rage. 

“ We traveled together about a month, and 
then-” ventured Georgiana. 

A month! D-d pretty mess, I must 

say,” said Charles, pacing the floor. 

“ But, brother, we are going to marry the 
fellows,” interposed Helena. 

“ What 1 You’ll do nothing of the kind ! 
States Prison is too good for the rascals. They 


ought to be tarred-’ 





190 


Wheels, 


We’ll have to marry them, brother, because 
weVe promised to,” said Georgiana.' 

“ The impudence of the monsters! The 
burning shame and disgrace,” said Charles, 
growing more excited. 

“ That’s it, Charles, we’ve got to marry them 
to get rid of the shame and disgrace,” said 
Helena., 

“ Bosh ! Where are these monsters in human 
form ? Are they in Paris ?” asked Charles. 

“ We’re expecting them here any moment to 
take us to grand opera,” said Helena, trying to 
lay her hand on her brother’s arm to quiet him. 

“ We’ll have grand opera right now ; and by 
George ! here’s a thirty-eight calibre revolver 
to do the business,” said Charles, picking up the 
revolver lately dropped. 



La Belle Paris. 


191 

“ Charles, I beg of you, wait until you see 
them,” pleaded Georgiana. 

“ Quite naturally ; but they must die, the vil¬ 
lains!” said Charles, examining the chambers 
of the weapon. 

The words had barely escaped his lips before 
Browne and Montgomery entered. 

James, my darling, let us die together !” said 
Helena, embracing Montgomery. 

“ Fayette, stand behind me. The ball that 
pierces your heart must first go through my 
body,” said Georgiana, standing in front of 
Browne, heroically. 

Well, I’ll be captured and thrown overboard, 
eaten up by a whale, and made over into sperm 
candles, if this don’t beat the world s record, 
said Charles Morgan, dropping the revolver and 
striding at great lengths toward the intruders. 




192 


Wheels. 


“ Charlie Morgan, my college chum ! Is it 

possible you are-” began Browne, shaking 

the extended hand heartily. 

“ Chump Morgan, shake. If you don’t want 
me for a brother-in-law, shoot me on the spot. 
I’m prepared for my end right now,” said 
Montgomery. 

“ Here’s anotherwictim, meek as a lamb, and 
twice as innocent. The fact is-” 

'‘No explanations, Fay. I’ve heard all about 
it, and I must say, if two sheep ever deserved 
to be slaughtered, it’s you and Jim Montgom¬ 
ery.” 

“ Oh, Brother Charles, we were the most to 
blame,” pleaded Georgiana. 

“ I was the projector of the whole affair,” 
said Helena. 





La Belle Paris. 


193 


Hush up, girls. Whatever Fay Browne and 
Jim Montgomery, law partners of Hop City, 
want at my hands, is theirs for the asking. 
Why, I wouldn’t have had Blanche, if they 
hadn’t helped us elope. Remember that night, 
Jim? Wasn’t that a storm for your life ?” 

Thunder and lightning wasn’t a circum¬ 
stance to the tempest old Atherton was in,” 
replied Montgomery. 

Didn’t he put the old gray through for all 
she was worth, though ? And you two sinners 
tucked away in the preacher’s best room, wait¬ 
ing for the storm to subside, so that Jim and 
I could row you across to Tuckerville, instead 
of taking the cars at the regular station. Ha, 
ha, ha !” laughed Browne. 

“ Ha, ha, ha!” laughed Morgan and Mont¬ 
gomery in chorus, 




194 


Wheels, 


“ Do I understand that you consent to our 
marriage with these gentlemen, brother ?’’ asked 
Georgiana, timidly. 

“ Has a stone wall got to fall on you, sister ? 

Of course I consent, and where I said d-n 

it, ten minutes ago, I now say, God bless you, 
and long years of happiness,” said Charles, 
waving his hand by way of emphasis. 

“ Where is Blanche, Charles ? I can’t wait 
another instant,” said Helena, starting. 

Here she is now. Blanche, did you ever 
see these two rascals before ?” asked Charles, 
pointing in the direction of Browne and Mont¬ 
gomery. 

“ Why, Mr. Montgomery! why, Mr. Browne !” 
said Blanche, giving her hand somewhat timidly 
to each in turn. 




La Belle Paris. 


195 


Why don’t you call ’em Fay and Jim, as 
you used to, Blanche ? Might as well begin, 
they’re going to marry the girls,” said Charles. 

“They are.? Why, how sudden. You dear 
girls. Is it really true that you are going to 
marry these old school chums of ours ? How 
lovely ! But why haven’t you got on your-” 

“ Hush, Blanche. We’ll explain later,” said 
Georgiana, going back to her place beside 
Browne. 

“ How soon are these weddings to come off, 
I would inquire.?” asked Charles. 

“ That’s for you and Blanche to say, 
brother,” replied Georgiana. 

“ Say within two weeks, Charles, please,” 
whispered Helena. 

“ Now I’ll tell you what I’ll do, and make it 




196 


J Vheels. 


in the shape of a business proposition. Blanche 
and I started out to have a lark, the same as 
you girls, and we don’t propose to give it up. 
We’ll consent to your marriage with these 
rascals, and give you away any time you pro¬ 
pose, provided you two girls will don the pants 
again.” 

“ O—oh ! brother, don’t,” remonstrated 
Georgiana. 

“ Anything but that,” exclaimed Helena. 

‘‘All right, girls, just as you say. We go 
back to Chicago,” said Charles. 

“ Go on, Charles. We’ll do it. We’ll do it,” 
said Georgiana and Helena at once. 

“ Don’t interrupt me again, then. As I was 
about to say. I’ve got a man’s rig in my trunk 
for Blanche. 



La Belle Paris, 


197 


“ Isn’t that dreadful?” remarked Blanche, 
blushing. 

“ Now you’ve got to interfere. Have I the 
floor, boys, or shall I sit down ?” asked Charles, 
playfully. 

“ Go on! go on !” chimed a quartette of 
voices. 

“ As I remarked, I have a suit in my trunk 
for Blanche.” 

“Are they awfully uncomfortable, girls?” 
whispered Blanche. 

“ There you go again. Will this house please 
come to order. I have a suit in my trunk for 
Blanche (any remarks? then I’ll go on), and we 
can all take a bicycle tramp together as six 
bachelors of uncertain ages.” 

“I don’t have to put on petticoats, then ? 



198 


Wheels, 


Of course not. What was I thinking about ? 
You’ll put on those dear little knickerbockers 
again, won’t you, pet?” asked Montgomery, 
persuasively. 

“ Pants again ? It makes me faint to think 
of it. But of course I consent,” said Helena. 

There isn’t any other way out of it, as I 
see,” said Georgiana. 

They must be very uncomfortable the way 
you girls act,” remarked Blanche. 

“ Not so uncomfortable as embarrassing be¬ 
fore marriage, you understand, Blanche ?” said 
Georgiana, in a low voice. 

“ Now, get your wedding fixings going, girls. 
Make short work of it, I say,” remarked 
Charles. 

We shall have our honeymoon tour, after 



La Belle Paris, 


199 


all. Isn’t that glorious ?” said Browne, clasping 
Georgiana about the waist. 

“A bride in Venice ! Isn’t that the climax 
of bliss, James ?” said Helena, looking into her 
lover’s eyes with a languishing expression. 

The carriages are now in waiting, gentle^ 
men,” said a bell boy, appearing and then dis¬ 
appearing as suddenly. 

“ The opera! Bless my heart, yes. We 
came near forgetting every breath about it,” 
said Helena, rushing back for her cloak. 

“ To be sure, the opera, Charles,” said 
Blanche, throwing a lace point about her head 
and shoulders. 

“ Thank you, Fayette,”- said Georgiana, 
creeping into the elegant gray and gold bro¬ 
cade mantle, which her lover held to wrap about 
her beautiful shoulders. 







200 


Wheels, 


“ Sorry to cover you u'p, sweet, but you look 
heavenly in this blue and silver, with the ermine 
about your throat, Helena,” said Montgomery, 
standing back to admire his lady. 

“ All ready, are we ?” asked Charles, after as¬ 
sisting the gentlemen to don their coats. 

“ All ready, I believe,” remarked Browne. 

“ Well, ril just add, for the benefit of any 
newspaper reporters who may be concealed in 
these draperies, or abiding in the panels of this 
wainscoting, that when the public hear of a 
bachelor sextette doing Europe, they may 
draw their own conclusions.” 


THE END. 



MRS. MARY J. HOLMES’ NOVELS, 


Over a MILLION Sold. 

Aa a writer of domestic stories, which are extremely ioteres+Ing. Mrs. Mary 
Holmes is unri vailed. Her characters are true to life, quaint, ana admirable. 


Tempest and Sunshine. 
Engiisb Orphans. 
Homestead on the Hillside. 
’Lena Rivers. 

Meadow Rrook. 

Dora Deane. 

Cousin Maude. 

Marian Grey. 

Edith Lyle.‘ 

Dr. Hathern’s Daughters. 


Daisy Thornton. 
Chateau D’Or. 

Queenie Hetherton. 
Darkness and Daylight. 
Hugh Worthington. 
Cameron Pride. 

Rose Mather. 

Ethelyn’s Mistake. 
Milltaank. 

(New.) 


Price $1.50 per Vol. 


Edna Browning. 
West Lawn. 
Mildred. 

Forrest House. 
Madeline. 
Christmas Stories. 
Bessie’s Fortune. 
Gretoheu. 
Marguerite. 


AUGUSTA J. EVANS’ 


IVLA-GNinCENT NOVELS. 


Beulah, $1.75 Inez, $1.75 Vashti, $2.00 

St. Elmo, $2.00 Macaria, $1.75 Infelice, $2.00 

At the Mercy of Tiberius (New), $2.00. 

“ The authoBte style is beautiful, chaste, and elegant. Her ideas are clothed 
in the most fascinating imagery, and her power of delineattng character is truly 
remarkable.” 


MARION HARLAND’S 

SPLENDID NOVELS. 

Alone. Miriam. My Little Love. Helen Gardner. 

Hidden Path. Sunny Bank. Phemie’s Temptation. Husbands and Homes. 

Moss Side. Ruby’s Husband. The Empty Heart. Jessamine. 

Nemesis. At Last. From My Youth Up. True as Steel. 

Price $1.50 per Vol. 

“ Marion Harland understands the art of constructing a plot which will gaia 
the attention of the reader at the beginning, and keep up the interest to the las* 
page.” 


MAY AGNES FLEMING’S 


POPULAR NOVELS. 


Silent and True. , 

A Wonderful Woman 
A Terrible Secret. 
Norine’s Revenge. 

A Mad Marriage. 

One Night’s Mystery. 


A Changed Heart. 
Pride and Pnssion. 
Sharing Her Crime. 

A Wronged V/ife. 
Maude Percy’s Secret. 
The Actress’ Daughter. 


Kate Danton. 

Guy Earlscourt’s Wife. 

Heir of Charlton. 

Carried by Storm. 

Lost for a Woman. 

A Wife’s Tragedy. 

The Queen of the Isle. The Midnight Queen. (New.) 

Price $1.50 per Vol. 

“ Mrs. Fleming’s stories are growing more and more popular everT" lay. Theli 
life-like conversations, flashes of wit, constantly varying scenes, nd deeplj 
interesting plots, combine to place their author in the very first rank Moder» 
Novelists.” 


All the books on this list are handsomely printed and bound in cloth, sold 
every wiiere, and by mail, postage free, on receipt of price by 


G. W. DILLINGHAM, PUBLISHER,. 

83 West SCd Street, New York. 






JULIE P. 

Widow Goldsmith’s^Daugliter.$1-5'^ 

Chris and Otho.. t 5^ 

Ten Old Maids. 15^ 

Lucy. • • .. ‘ 50 

His Young Wife. 1 5° 


S NOVELS. 

The Widower .,...$1 50 

The Married Belle.... i 50 

Courting and Farming. . 50 

Kiss and be Friends. 50 

Blossom Bud... . i 50 


JOHN ESTEN COOKE’S WORKS. 


'^urry of Eagle's i^e^t. 
Fairfax 


50 

50 


Hilt to Hilt. I 50 

Beatrice Hallam. i 5° 

Leather and Silk. r 50 

Miss Bonnybel. i 50 

Out of the Foam. i 50 


Hammer and Kapier. $t 30 

Mohun. I 50 

Captain Ralph... i 50 

Col. Koss of Piedmont. 1 50 

Robert E. I 

Stonewall Jackson. i 50 

Her Majesty the Queen. i 50 


CELIA E. GARDNER’S NOVELS. 


Stolen Waters. (Inverse).$i 5° 

Broken Dreams. Do. .. i 50 

Compensation. Do. .i 50 

A Twisted Skein. Do.i 50 

Tested... i 50 


Rich Medway.$i 50 

A Woman’s Wiles... i 50 

Terrace Roses. i 50 

Seraph—or Mortal? (New). i 50 


A. S. ROE’S NOVELS. 


True to the Last .... ..50 

A Long Look Ahead. .... i 50 

The Star and the Cloud.i 50 

I’ve Been Thinking. i 50 

How could He Help It.. i 50 

Like and Unlike. 1 50 

CAPTAIN NIAYNE 

The Scalp Hunters.50 

The Rifle Rangers. i 50 

The War Trail. 1 50 

The Wood Rangers... i 50 

The Wild Huntress.... 50 

The Maroon . i 50 

The Headless Horseman. i 50 

The Rangers and Regulators. . i 50 

POPULAR HAND-BOOKS. 

The Habits of Good Society—The nice points of taste and good manners. 
The Art of Conversation—For those who wish to be agreeable talkers.... 

The Arts of Writing, Reading and Speaking—For Self-Improvement. 

Carelton’s Hand-Book of Popular Quotations. 

1000 Legal Don’ts—By Ingersoll Lockwood. 

600 Medical Don’ts—By Ferd. C. Valentine, M.D. 

On the Chafing Dish—By Harriet P. Bailey. 

Pole on Whist. 

Draw Poker without a Master. 


To Love and Be Loved.$r 50 

Time and Tide... i 50 

Woman Our Angel. 1-50 

Looking Around. i 50 

The Cloud on the Heart. r 50 

Resolution.... .... i 

REID’S WORKS. 

The White Chief... 

The Tiger Hunter. 

The Hunter’s Feast... 

Wild Life... 

Osceola, the Seminole. 

The Quadroon.. 

The White Gauntlet... 

Lost Leonore. 


POPULAR NOVELS, COMIC BOOKS, ETC 

Les Miserables—Translated from the French. The only complete edition. 

Stephen Lawrence—By Annie Edwardes... . 

Susan Fielding Do. Do. .'.j 

A Woman of Fashion Do. Do.* 

Archie Lovell Do. Do._ 

Love (L’Amour)—English Translation from Michelet’s famous French work. 

vVoman (La Femme)—The Sequel to “ L’Amour.” Do. Do. 

Verdant Green—A racy English college story. With 200 comic illustrations.!!”!!]! 

Doctor Antonio—By Ruffini. 

Beatrice Cenci—From the Italian.. 

Josh Billings. His Complete Writings—With Biography, SteQrPortraiV, and'i*(!^ Ill 
Artemas Ward. Complete Comic Writings—With Biography, Portrait, and 50 Ill 
Children’s Fairy Geography—With hundreds of beautiful Illustrations. 


50 

50 

50 

50 

50 

50 

50 

50 

00 

00 

00 

SO 

7S 

75 

50 

00 

50 


50 

50 

5 a 

50 

50 

50 

50 

Sa 

50 

50 


All the books on this list are handsomely printed and bound in cloth, 
everywhere, and by mail, postage free, on receipt of price by 

G. W. DILLINGHAM, Publisher, 

33 WEST 23d STREET, NEW YORl(. 


2.00 
I 50 

I oa 

sold 




























































































MAY A&IES FLEMIIG’S 


Populate fiovels. 

Tlie following is a list of the Novels by the Author of 
^'Guy Earlscourt’s Wife'': 


SILENT AND TRUE. 

- A WONDERFUL WOMAN. 

A TERRIBLE SECRET. 
NORINE’S REVENGE. 

A MAD MARRIAGE. 

ONE NIGHT’S MYSTERY. 
KATE DANTON. 

GUY EARLSCOURT’S WIFE. 
HEIR OF CHARLTON. 

THE QUEEN OF THE ISLE. 

These volumes can be 
cloth>boimd library edition. 


CARRIED BY STORM. 
LOST FOR A WOMAN. 

A WIFE’S TRAGEDY. 

A CHANGED HEART. 
PRIDE AND PASSION. 
SHARING HER CRIME. 

A WRONGED WIFE. 
MAUDE PERCY’S SECRET. 
THE ACTRESS’ DAUGHTER. 
EDITH PERCIVAL (New). 

had at any bookstore in the 
Prioe 11.50. 


“ Mrs. Fleming’s stories are growing more and more popular every day. Their 
delineations of character, lifelike conversations, flashes of wit, constantly 
varying scenes, and deeply interesting plots combine to place 
their author in the very first rank of modern novelists.” 


All handsomely printed and bound in cloth, sold everywhere, and 
sent by mail, postage free, on receipt of price (I1.50), by 



G. W. DILLINGHAM, Publisher, 

33 West 23rd Street, New York 





AUeUSTA J. EVANS’ 

IimMEIIT MILS. 


BEULAH, .... - $1.76 

ST. ELMO, - - - . . - 2.00 

INEZ, - - - ’ - - 1-76 

MAOARIA, - . . - . - 1.75 

VASHTI,.2.00 

INFELICE, - ... . 2.00 

AT The mercy op TIBERIUS, - 2.0C 


A Prominent Critic says of these Novels: 

'^ The author’s style is beautiful, chaste, and elegant 
Her ideals are clothed in the most fascinating imagery, and 
her power of delineating character is truly remarkable. One 
of the marked and striking characteristics of each and all 
her works is the purity of sentiment which pervades every 
ime, every page, and every chapter.” 


All handsomely printed and bound in cloth^ sold everywhert._ 
®nd sent by maily postage free^ on receipt of pricey by 

G. W. DILLINGHAM, Publisher, 

West 23rd Street, New York. 








I 





I 















.\0 

aa 



' '^Il'WX'^ >. > -<• 

T. ^ ^H;'.\n5> > ^ 



/\ 

o, 

s^ c«' 




^ (cjii \ 

0 \ Ts^ J' 



y- 




=.* ./. ■^'AT/V^ "^ ■ «*- 

"" d- , 0 •"' ^b ^ 4- a , A ^ ^ 

,'^ \o^ \- '> 

<\^ ""r. A.' 





S « kW-w/.''/- z 

;v—^.| i.i if—> "■' =" H/ 

)T> «^ ^cn£s„ ^ 


✓' 



\0 C>. >■ w 




'^6(^ ^ ^ 

«• V; 

S '^Kf- ^ 

-y v 

" \ * <1 » r4^ 

^ Si ^ ^^ s -> <■ r '^ ') N 0 

vV -A. ♦" 

— V^ ^ ® 

> 'Cr> - ' 


-if 

- ^ '5s'' 

-^ '*' f'^ 

<> ^0 93 '*”'' ^ ^ 

^ 9 M * 

.V 




v- ,A’'’ »" ,SiK, <!%" ' a\'3&''= ' 

: y%. °yw^’ '^l^;' .- 3 ^% 

' ,c 9 \ 

, 0 N a ^ 

^ O 



o o' 


'/' * it "S . 1 D ~^ ^ .\\ n N G' '* iv it “S A''" V 1 6 , 

^O O" ^ o^'O C tp O Pv^ o ^ 4- 

^ ^ - ■^< 0° - 

'"oo' ■'^ ^ 

.■«■• '"A ' 9 V^-' #‘ 

»'*". '^c> \>\p”'-i. 

^ --1 r-. -O y «0 > 




,<t'^ i.^' '°, '».,i*'p'^ '^' ' 

> ^< 5 ^ »'*''^ 6' ■' 

‘ %t 9-. iV 

^ ° ''’ '5^ z - 

y'^-^.^ '•wp." ^°S .-.^. 

9 ‘it ^ A ■ 'bi' ^ ^sxv - 15't^ ^ 

■/ t. _ . ^'' A 0^1 . iO ^ 0 , x 






yyy * 

= ' ■§’ °^. 

.<9 9> ’*■» • 

r ^ - 


b. 


0 A X 


























vOo 


sO^ 

0> ^ ^ 0 ^ 

A^ r (? > « 

.<;- "' '^r> \\ 

*• A\\> ■> // >! o cP ^4' 

<P 


“^O 

N c „ ^ i> * '' •Ni'^ 

y. O 

'S> 

y 



-> >“ 


\0a. 




* ■ ,0 




4' .. - 


8 I 




' .- A % 


V y. 



'^ 00 ' 




Cv*^ ^ 4^^' 

0 °‘X'iXX;;. /' '''' 

- '%cA *Wa\ ^ ' 





v\'^ - ' 5.° - «4 

o’*Xo‘^ '^h*'-/' 

0> ^ 0 ^ o 

A^ r f? A * 'P 

^ ^ ^ V, 4 . ^ 



//, ' A'-. 4> 

y% t A 4 “ 


y ,4 " 

'> lO 



^ ,0' 'o 



.'' ■« '-A ' “ , 0 - -a"'' *“='' 'a^X ... 


o'"' 



.V 


4 V \N <\v AP^ 


4> '- 5 ^^ 

■^''^ <.'' _0 
Y .O-^ 


0 V- K y\ 

C 0 N C 






















LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 






































































